The Laughington Post-Say Yes To Life

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• The Laughington Post-Say Yes To Life
• The Free Cash Report
• The Debt Killer
• Bang Books
• Vagina Dentada, The Myth Of The Toothed Vagina
• QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PENIS
• Ultimate Dating Secrets For Men
• Kissing Secrets Revealed
• Dating Secrets Revealed

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Vagina Dentada, The Myth Of The Toothed Vagina Posted: 10 Sep 2009 04:25 AM PDT Vagina Dentada by H.Bangambiki http://www.myvagina.org "Toothed vagina," the classic symbol of men's fear of sex, expressing the unconscious belief that a woman may eat or castrate her partner during intercourse. Freud said, "Probably no male human being is spared the terrifying shock of threatened castration at the sight of female genitals." But he had the reason wrong. The real reason for this "terrifying shock" is a mouth-symbolism, now recognized universally in myth and fantasy: "It is well-known in psychiatry that both males and females fantasize as a mouth the female's entranceway to the vagina." The more patriarchal the society, the more fear seems to be aroused by the fantasy. Men of Malekula, having overthrown their matriarchate, were haunted by a yonic spirit called "that which draws us to It so that It may devour us." The Yanomamo said one of the first beings on earth was a woman whose vagina became a toothed mouth and bit off her consort's penis. Chinese patriarchs said women's genitals were not only gateways to immortality but also "executioners of men." Moslem aphorisms said: "Three things are insatiable: the desert, the grave, and a woman's vulva." Polynesians said the savior-god Maui tried to find eternal life by crawling into the mouth (or vagina) of his mother Hina, in effect trying to return to the womb of the Creatress; but she bit him in two and killed him. Stories of the devouring Mother are ubiquitous in myths, representing the death-fear which the male psyche often transformed into a sex-fear. Ancient writings describe the male sexual function not as "taking" or "posessing" the female, but rather "being taken" or "putting forth." Ejaculation was viewed as a loss of a man's vital force, which was "eaten" by a woman. The Greek sema ir "semen: meant both "seed" and "food." Sexual "consummation" was the same as "consuming" (the male). Many savages still have the same imagery. The Yanomamo word for pregnant also means satiated or full-fed; and "to eat" is the same as "to copulate." Distinction between mouths and female genitals was blurred by the Greek idea of the laminae -- lustful she-demons, born of the Libyan snake-goddess Lamia. Their name meant either "lecherous vaginas" or "gluttonous gullets." Lamia was a Greek name for the divine female serpent called Kundalini in India, Uraeus or Per-Uatchet in Egypt, and Lamashtu in Babylon. Her Babylonian consort was Pazuzu, he of the serpent penis. Lamia's legend, with its notion that males are born to be eaten, led to Pliny's report on the sexual lives of snakes which was widely believed throughout Europe even up to the 20th century: a male snake fertilizes the female snake by putting his head into her mouth and allowing himself to be eaten. Sioux Indians told a tale similar to that of the Lamia. A beautiful seductive woman accepted the love of a young warrior and united with him inside a cloud. When the cloud lifted, the woman stood alone. The man was a heap of bones being gnawed by snakes at her feet. Mouth and vulva were equated in many Egyptian myths. Ma-Nu, the western gate whereby the sun god daily re-entered his Mother, was sometimes a "cleft" (yoni) and sometimes a "mouth." Priestesses of Bast, representing the Goddess, drew up their skirts to display their genitals during religious processions. To the Greeks, such a display was frightening. Bellerophon fled in terror from Lycian women advancing on him with genitals exposed, and even the sea god Poseidon retreated, for fear they might swallow him. According to Philostratus, magical women "by arousing sexual desire seek to devour whom they wish." To the patriarchal Persians and Moslems this seemed a distinct possibility. Viewing women's mouths as either obscene, dangerous, or overly seductive, they insisted on veiling them. Yet men's mouths, which look no different, were not viewed as threatening. "Mouth" comes from the same root as "mother" -- Anglo-Saxon muth, also related to the Egyptian Goddess Mut. Vulvas have labiae, "lips," and many men have believed that behind the lips lie teeth. Christian authorities of the Middle Ages taught that certain witches, with the help of the moon and magic spells, could grow fangs in their vaginas. They likened women's genitals to the "yawning" mouth of hell, though this was hardly original; the underworld gate had always been the yoni of Mother Hel. It has always "yawned" -- from Middle English yonen, another derivative of "yoni." A German vulgarity meaning "cunt," Fotze in parts of Bavaria meant simply "mouth." To Christian ascetics, Hell-mouth and the vagina drew upon the same ancient symbolism. Both were equated with the womb-symbol of the whale that swallowed Jonah; according to this "prophecy" the Hell-mouth swallowed Christ (as Hina swallowed her son Maui) and kept him for three days. Visionary trips to hell often read like "a description of the experience of being born, but in reverse, as if the child was being drawn into the womb and destroyed there, instead of being formed and given life." St. Teresa of Avila said her vision of a visit to hell was "an oppression, a suffocation, and an affliction so agonizing, and accompanied by such a hopeless and distressing misery that no words I could find would adequately describe it. To say that it was as if my soul were being continuously torn from my body is as nothing." The archetypal image of "devouring" female genitals seems undeniably alive even in the modern world. "Males in our culture are so afraid of direct contact with female genitalia, and are even afraid of referring to these genitalia themselves; they largely displace their feelings to the accessory sex organs -- the hips, legs, breasts, buttocks, etc. -- and they give these accessory sex organs an exaggerated interest and desirability." Even here, the male scholar inexplicably "displaces" the words sex organ onto structures that have nothing to do with sexual functioning. Looking into, touching, entering the female orifice seems fraught with hidden fears, signified by the confusion of sex with death in overwhelming numbers of male minds and myths. Psychiatrists say sex is perceived by the male unconscious as dying: "Every orgasm is a little death: the death of the 'little man,' the penis." Here indeed is the root of ascetic religions that equated the denial of death with the denial of sex. Moslems attributed all kinds of dread powers to a vulva. It could "bite off" a man's eye-beam, resulting in blindness for any man who looked into its cavity. A sultan of Damascus was said to have lost his sight in this manner. Christian legend claimed he went to Sardinia to be cured of his blindness by a miraculous idol of the Virgin Mary -- who, being eternally virgin, had her door-mouth permanently closed by a veil-hymen. Apparently Freud was wrong in assuming that men's fear of female genitals was based on the idea that the female had been castrated. The fear was much less empathetic, and more personal: a fear of being devoured, of experiencing the birth trauma in reverse. A Catholic scholar's curious description of the Hell-mouh as a womb inadvertently reveals this idea: "When we think of man entering hell we think of him as establishing contact with the most intrinsic, unified, ultimate and deepest level of the reality of the world." by H.Bangambiki http://www.myvagina.org -- www.igituba.org www.althotgirls.com www.laughingtonpost.com www.myvagina.org www.thefreecashreport.blogspot.com

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PENIS Posted: 10 Sep 2009 03:48 AM PDT QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PENIS I'm a light-skinned 25-year-old black male, and like most men, I am way too obsessed with my penis. I have this one dark bump that's on the upper part (the lighter-skinned part) of my shaft. It's not painful in the least, and it is extremely smooth when I rub my finger over it. If I couldn't see it, I wouldn't know it's there. Please help. Sure — stop looking at it! Problem solved. I'm 44 and get erections all the time. That's not all bad, I know — but I even get them when I play with 11-year-old my son. A while back, my wife and I brought the subject out in the open with him, so to speak. I told him that it's something that happens to me, but that he shouldn't worry about it. Although I don't think he does, it bugs me down to my soul. More than anything, I want to feel normal about it. I'm wondering if it's a common thing that guys just don't talk about, or if I'm some kind of a freak who really needs help. Erection response in men is highly variable. Some guys have trouble obtaining and maintaining an erection even with strong erotic stimulation, while others, like you, have spontaneous (or at least very facile) erections even well into adulthood. It is entirely normal to get erections during nonsexual physical contact with others, including children and even animals. Similarly, many mothers have reported feelings of sexual arousal while breastfeeding. While such reflexes may seem "bad" and may make us ashamed (especially in a society that's both hyper-sexualized and uptight about anything sexual), there's really no reason to feel this way, so long as you know and understand that it's only a reflex. Remember, just because you get erections at "inappropriate" times, it doesn't make you a bad person. I've read that it can be harmful for a penis to be erect for more than 4 hours without a break. Is that true? I've done this a few times, and it doesn't feel any different afterward than if I've had an erection for a much shorter time. You're probably referring to the warnings on ads for the prescription drug Cialis, which say that an erection lasting more than 4 hours requires immediate medical attention. I believe that statement concerns an unwanted erection — one that persists even after sexual activity or stimulation is over. I don't believe there's anything wrong with having a naturally achieved erection for an extended time, as long as it's sustained by continued stimulation, whether physical or mental. You should only be concerned if the erection won't go down even long after your activities and interest are over. I am 15 years old, and my foreskin cannot retract past the head of my penis. I learned that this condition is called "phimosis." I read that it's a rare condition that can cause serious problems. This scared me to death. I don't want to get circumcised. The inability to retract my foreskin causes me no problems whatsoever; I can masturbate just fine, I have no problem ejaculating or urinating, and I'm sure that when I have sex it will be completely normal and enjoyable. Is it safe to say that I can just leave my penis the way it is, and not consult my doctor? If you aren't experiencing discomfort, I don't think you have phimosis, which is a condition that's painful during erection. If your penis continues to grow and you do start experiencing discomfort, then it's time to see a doctor. You won't necessarily need to be circumcised to cure the condition. But as long as your penis feels fine, don't worry about it. I had surgery last month for prostate cancer. It was successful, except for the post-operative erectile dysfunction. Literature indicated that a vacuum pump can be good therapy to help the penis restore an erection. Your site suggested that all pumping has risk, and it sounded like you recommended no pump at all. Is that true? For men with severe physical erectile dysfunction, a vacuum pump is okay to help achieve an erection. Ask your doctor for advice on using one, and follow the doctor's directions. Vacuum pumps should not be used by men with healthy sexual function, particularly if the intent is to try to enlarge the penis. This can lead someone to use too strong a vacuum and thereby risk possible damage to the penis. I'm a 14-year-old uncircumcised male and have been masturbating for about a year. I have noticed a red line on the underside of my penis that looks like a kind of scar. I have no recollection of any operation on my penis. Is the red line related to masturbation? It's only related in the sense that it's on your penis, and you use your penis when you masturbate. My guess is that you're referring to the raphe, which is the "seam" that forms when the two halves of a male fetus's genitals close up while he is developing in utero. Often the raphe is more visible on the scrotum, but in a lot of guys it extends along the underside of the penis as well. I recently learned in health class about a disorder called Peyronie's disease, which is an irregular bend in the penis. My teacher says one of the causes is masturbation. Is this true? No, your teacher is wrong — masturbation does not cause Peyronie's disease. The term refers to a buildup of scar tissue in the erectile tissue of the penis, which causes a sharp bend in the penis during erection. It is most commonly caused by trauma, perhaps sustained during an injury, and generally doesn't develop gradually over time. Minor bends in the penis are considered normal and don't necessitate treatment. For actual cases of Peyronie's disease, where erection is painful and intercourse is difficult or impossible, medical treatment, which may include surgery, can help. I am fairly concerned about the shape of my penis. The base is fine, but at the middle of the shaft, it is thicker. Then it goes back down in thickness at the head. This bothers me, and I want to know if there are any ways to fix this, or to just deal with it. No, buddy — you're stuck with your penis shape. It's not some kind of deformity, it's one of the common variations that occur in males. Rather than inspect your penis for any possible flaw that you can obsess upon and worry about (a trait that, for some reason, seems to be genetically hard-wired into every young man), why not think of all the good things about your penis, and all the pleasure it brings you? You cannot change the shape or size of your penis, period. The sooner you (and everyone else) come to peace with this simple fact, and the sooner you get over your desire to change your penis, the happier you will be with yourself and your body. What is that large, blue vein called that lies on the dorsal (top) side of the penis? - age 31, Oklahoma It's actually called the dorsal vein of the penis. Honest. I am 14 years old, and I have a large, puffy vein on the surface of my penis. It goes straight and then it curls, and when I am erect, it kind of unravels. I have no problems with it, but I am insecure of the way it looks and of what a girl might think. I am also insecure because I don't know exactly what the vein is. Do you have any idea? Yes, it's a vein! It's normal! For God's sake, please stop obsessing about the minor anatomical details of your penis! I know certain parts of the body need certain vitamins and nutrition to grow, but can you tell me what type of nutrition a penis needs to grow? You're right, kind of, that certain parts of the body need certain nutrients. The bones need calcium to grow and stay healthy, the thyroid gland needs iodine, the fingernails grow better with certain types of protein, and the eyes are believed to develop better with plenty of vitamin A. But the penis doesn't fall into this category. Even though it's an amazing organ, the tissues of the penis themselves — and the nutrients they require — are pretty generic, like most parts of the body. The penis doesn't have any particular nutritional needs any more than your earlobes or your tongue or your ring finger do. That's why it's a lie whenever someone says they have a pill that can make the penis grow larger. Since the penis has no unique nutritional needs, there's no way a pill could "target" its tissues. Can you imagine how ridiculous it would seem if someone tried to sell a pill that would enlarge your ring finger? It's just as crazy to say that a pill, or any kind of nutritional supplement, could make your penis grow larger or make it grow faster. When I started to masturbate I was merely 19, and now, 3 years later, my penis has enlarged from 6 inches to 8 1/2. Some have said that there is no way to enlarge your penis, but I have to differ with them. I have an enlarged penis to prove my theory and my fact. My goal is 9 1/2 to 10 inches — I'll keep you posted. - age 22, Kentucky Congratulations on being happy with your large penis. But I hate to break it to you — masturbation has not made your penis larger. Your penis just took a few years longer to reach its full size than most guys' do. Believe me, for every 50 e-mails I get from people who believe that masturbation made their penis bigger, I get 50 e-mails from guys who think masturbation has stunted their penis growth. Masturbation neither helps nor hinders the growth of the penis. The penis just grows to a certain length, by a certain age, regardless of what you do with it. (Unless, of course, you cut it off. Please don't do that.) You've mentioned penis-enlargement devices that can have permanent harmful effects, and pills that don't really work. However, I have also seen sites that offer penis-enlargement exercises, and you haven't mentioned what those can do. The penis is a muscle, and like pretty much all muscles in the body, can it not be built up or enlarged through some form of exercise? No, because the penis is not a muscle. It may feel like a flexed muscle when it's erect, and there are muscles connected to the base, so you may be able to move it around somewhat on its own, but there are no muscles actually inside the penis. Whenever I have an erection, I notice that some of my penis is actually inside my body — I can feel it. On the outside my penis is about 5 1/2 inches long, but if I count what's on the inside, my penis is about 8 inches. Does everyone have this? Is it penis waiting to grow, or what? - age 15, Illinois Nice try! What you're feeling is simply the root of the organ — the penis actually extends far into the body, and I'm sorry to say, won't reveal itself as you grow older. When we talk about erect penis size, we're referring to the visible external portion — although that's never stopped creative men armed with rulers and intent on convincing themselves that they're bigger than they really are. When my penis is limp, it's only about 2" long and very embarrassing. When it's erect, it's about 6" long and very thick. I get laughed at because of my little penis poking out beneath my pants. Is there anything I can do? Yes — quit whining! Seriously, your penis is of a very average and normal size, so what's the problem? My advice: Find something else in your life to worry and obsess about, or better yet, stop worrying altogether. When erect my penis is about 5.5" long, so about average. However, it is really thick. I measured with a string around my penis, and the string was 9" long. Well, here's the problem. The other week I bought some Trojan lubricated condoms, regular size. I had an extremely hard time putting one on because I almost could not get it to unroll over the place where the head meets the shaft. What type of condom should I get? I've heard of the "Magnum" and large sizes, but are these longer as well as wider? I don't want extra slack in length, only extra room width-wise. - age 16, Wisconsin Large-size condoms are indeed wider as well as longer. If it's too long for your penis, you don't have to unroll the condom all the way. A 9"-circumference penis is definitely unusually thick, but hopefully not so much so that it prevents you from using a condom. In any case, don't use your size as an excuse to have intercourse without a condom. You'd be better off waiting until you're in a monogamous relationship with someone who's on birth control — which actually isn't a bad idea for anyone. On the underside of my penis, there is a fairly large, bluish-purplish vein that branches out. I think it looks ugly. It's not a problem for me when I masturbate, but I am afraid that when I show a girl my penis, she will think it's funny, or she will be grossed out or something. Young guys have an amazing ability to obsess about the appearance of their genitals and worry about what others think of them visually. Just remember that all of the features of your penis are natural parts of you, and that if a girl is turned off by a natural, normal part of you, it's her problem — not yours. It's very common for a penis to have visible veins, so stop telling yourself you are some kind of freak because of it. If a girl has serious problems with such a minor aspect of your physical being, she isn't worth dealing with on any level, anyway. And remember, women have the exact same insecurities about their bodies that men have. In a culture where the media seems to reward physical perfection, we just all need to chill out and accept each other for the imperfect but otherwise wonderful organisms we all are. I used a "penis pump" about a year ago for a period of maybe a month and a half. It has left me with permanent damage that causes me pain, not only physically but mentally and emotionally. My penis skin is thinner, and there is some scarring underneath the head, and the head itself was also somewhat affected. Am I the only guy who used one of these atrocious machines, and is there any relief? I have been to a urologist, but he couldn't recommend anything but a cream, and it doesn't help. You did the right thing by consulting a medical doctor. I advise you to seek a second or third opinion from other doctors. My guess is that you abused the pump and were too rough with it — but this is exactly why we discourage the use of any vacuum device on the penis. They just aren't safe enough. People who use pumps in an attempt to enlarge their penis, or only for pleasure, can really hurt themselves. I'm just sorry you had to be an example for everyone else. What do you think causes that "squishy" sound that comes from your penis when you masturbate? I can't seem to come up with an answer — got any ideas? That's a good question! I assume you're talking not about the sound of a lubed-up hand on the penis, but rather the "squishy" sound that sometimes happens even without lube. I think I have the answer. Just inside your penis head, the urethra (the tube that carries urine and semen) widens out a bit, forming a little "reservoir." When you masturbate, that "squishy" sound is air going in and out of the urethra to and from this reservoir. If you secrete a lot of Cowper's gland fluid ("pre-cum"), you may have noticed that it tends to get a little bubbly when you masturbate — that, too, is a result of air entering and exiting in this way. I am a 22-year-old Asian male and have been masturbating since I was 13. Due to constant masturbation, the color of my penis head has faded over time and now it's white. I am worried about this and want to restore my penis head's original color, which is brown. Is this possible? First of all, what makes you think masturbation caused your penis head to turn white? I've heard every possible male concern blamed on masturbation. Too big a penis, too small a penis, it curves to the left or right or up or down, body too hairy, too smooth, voice too high, voice too low...you name it. The reason why this happens, I believe, is that for many of us, masturbation guilt is so ingrained into our being that when we notice something, we assume we screwed up our body because we masturbate too much. I think this can happen even with people who feel no obvious guilt from masturbation — the guilt often runs deeper than that. So, I ask, why would masturbation affect just the head of your penis? And you know, the color of your skin isn't exactly painted on — you're brown pretty deep down, and you'd probably bleed to death before you managed to rub off all of your melanin-containing skin. I'm sure a tattoo artist would be happy to "restore" the color of your penis head (ouch). But ask yourself for a moment: Why? Are you afraid someone will see your "rubbed off" area and realize you masturbate? And even if they do, so what? These are the questions you should be asking yourself. I'm 16 and my penis is only 4 1/2 inches long. I'm getting tense about this. I started masturbating when I was 11, about 3 times a day on average. I thought of a theory that if you masturbate a lot, your penis will stop growing. Is this true? - age 15, Philippines No I'm 14 years old and I have never had an erection. I think I might be able to have one, but I was wondering if it might hurt the first time — if so, can I prevent this? Erections don't hurt — quite the opposite. Don't let that hold you back. But you should know that it's quite unusual for someone your age never to have had an erection. If you're just a "late bloomer" and haven't started puberty yet, it's probably okay — give it some time. But if you already have some pubic and underarm hair, etc., you should be having erections (spontaneous or otherwise) by now. If you find you're unable to get an erection even when you think about something that arouses you, that's a cause for concern. There may be something physical or physiological (as opposed to psychological) going on. You probably don't have to see a doctor right away, but if it persists you'll need to have the problem addressed eventually, if you want to lead a normal sex life (which includes being able to masturbate normally). I frequently measure my penis. I am completely open about this with my fiancée. It is 7" long, but I often worry that it is not big enough. I often consider penis enlargement products and techniques (even though I logically know that they don't work), and I discuss this with her. She says she is completely satisfied with penis and sometimes complains during sex that it is too big. She thinks I am just obsessed with my penis in general. What do you think? - age 18, Nebraska I agree with her — you're obsessed with your penis. (Of course, most of us guys are obsessed with our penis!) All I can say is there are many, many men who would absolutely kill to have your penis — some probably want to kill you right now because you're unsatisfied with it! And you're right, most of those penis-enlargement products (particularly any kind of pill) are ineffective scams, so stay away from them. It's okay to measure your penis and spend a lot of time thinking about it and looking at it. Just try to keep things in perspective, understand it's significantly larger than average, is more than enough for your girlfriend, is the envy of many men worldwide, and leave it at that. Three months ago I started doing crunches to develop my abdominal muscles. They were worth it, because now I have bigger abs. But my penis is not hanging as low as it used to. When I have an erection, my penis is just as long as it was before — but when it's soft, it looks shorter now. You can definitely see the difference; I shaved my pubic hair and saw the difference clearly. Could crunches make my flaccid penis appear shorter? Could be. Your entire genital region is connected to the musculature of your lower abdomen, and toning those muscles may have tightened up the entire region, if you will. But as long as your erect-penis size is the same, does it matter at all? In the locker room, your body probably looks more impressive overall with your newfound 6-pack. And when you get an erection now, your penis will lengthen more than it did before, which could be impressive in itself. Bottom line: You can't have everything! For about 6 months the skin on my penis has been cracking and peeling. I cut back seriously on my masturbation (to about twice a week), and I changed my technique so I don't touch that area as much, but it doesn't seem to help. First aid creams don't help, either. It has now gotten worse. I'm sort of worried and too afraid to consult a doctor. What should I do? You may have eczema or psoriasis, which are related, not terribly serious skin conditions. Neither is curable, so if you have one of them, a dermatologist probably wouldn't be able to help much. Eczema and psoriasis tend to come and go rather unpredictably, sometimes depending on the time of year or your stress level. Even if you're an adult, you may outgrow the condition eventually. You might try an over-the-counter ointment called Psoriasin, which can at least manage the problem in some cases. But if it's seriously bothering you or gets much worse, you should see a dermatologist — the doctor may determine it's something else, perhaps something that's completely treatable. When I inspect the opening of my penis, I see what looks like two openings. One seems to be a tube that runs down the bottom side of the shaft. I have seen both urine and semen come out of this opening. There appears to be another opening, almost in the center of the head, but I haven't seen anything come out of it. Any idea what this opening might be? It's actually the same opening — the end of the urethra. This is actually a fairly common condition, where the hole at the end of the penis is large or even split in two. Consider it normal. I'm 14 and recently read a survey about penis size and underwear type. Although the average size was the same for people who wear boxers or briefs, I've noticed that my penis has grown since I switched from briefs to boxer-briefs. Do you think this is from the extra room in boxer-briefs? You know why your penis has grown? Because you're 14! Penises grow at that age! It has nothing to do with what kind of underwear you use. Some people claim that if you wear boxers all day, your flaccid (non-erect) penis tends to hang a bit lower when you're naked, but even this is unsubstantiated. At any rate, underwear type certainly has no effect on erect penis size or its rate of growth. I have heard that the penis naturally lubricates itself, but that seems untrue. I've masturbated without lube once, but it didn't feel good. Does this mean that if I receive manual play from a girl who doesn't use lube, I won't enjoy it? The penis does naturally lubricate itself — on the inside, with a fluid called Cowper's gland secretion. Some guys produce enough of this fluid that it dribbles out of the penis and can be used as a masturbation lube. Others never see it at all. If you're used to masturbating with a lube and you dislike masturbating "dry," you probably won't get full satisfaction from someone else masturbating you without lube. You almost certainly won't be able to reach orgasm without it. Do both of you a favor: Raise the pleasure quotient by incorporating some lube into your play. She'll understand if she herself has masturbation experience. I'm concerned about the shape of my penis. Fully erect it's 7 inches long — but it curves down a great deal, like a banana and sometimes more. At first I thought it was because I wasn't fully hard. But I did some reading, and I'm starting to think it's because I wear briefs, not boxers. Something on the Internet explained that when you have a erection and it can't expand (as when you wear briefs), the muscle gets damaged. You're the experts — is this shape natural, or should I look toward switching to boxers? - age 17, Pennsylvania It is almost certainly natural and has nothing to do with your underwear type. — you'll see that most of the penis is made of 3 erectile structures called the corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum. (There's no muscle in the shaft part of the penis, so that right there casts a bad light on the Internet source you were reading.) These 3 structures, like most parts of the genitals, grow a great deal during puberty. If all 3 grow to exactly the same size, the penis will be perfectly straight when erect — but if any one grows more than the others, the erect penis will have a curve. This curve is made more noticable due to the fact that when the structures fill with blood, any size differences among them get exaggerated. In your case, the corpus spongiosum is probably a little shorter than the others, causing the penis to curve downward; if one of the corpora cavernosa is smaller than the others, the penis will curve to that side. In any case, there's nothing "damaged" about your penis — and unless the curve is severe (like, 90 degrees of curve), it should not be a problem when you have sex. I read in Men's Health magazine that coffee helps you achieve a stronger erection. I've tried it myself, and it seems to be true. Does it really work? And if so, what's happening? The caffeine in the coffee is responsible for the stronger erection. Caffeine is a drug that affects the nervous system. In fact, it overstimulates the central nervous system, which is why people who drink too much coffee have trouble sleeping or get a case of the shakes when they "come down" from a caffeine high. Erections are affected by the autonomic nervous system, which refers to the part of our day-to-day functioning over which we have little or no control, such as breathing. Since caffeine kick-starts the nervous system, it follows that erections will be affected, too. Caffeine also increases the blood pressure and stimulates of the heart, so it tends to get the heart beating and blood pumped to where it is most needed. A word to the wise, though, before you start chugging espresso or popping caffeine pills: Studies have shown that men who consume a great deal of caffeine (as well as those who use tobacco and alcohol) have greater instances of erectile dysfunction than those who consume a moderate amount. A balanced diet, exercise, and positive mindset are all much healthier ways to maintain and enjoy a strong erection. I am an uncircumcised 15-year-old. Does being uncircumcised stunt the growth of the penis? It's only 5 1/2 inches long when erect. Don't be ridiculous! An uncircumcised penis is a natural one — all males' penises are uncircumcised when they are born. How could this possibly stunt your growth? Furthermore, you have no reason to be concerned about your size. A lot of guys reading this right now would happily trade their penis for yours. Please, don't obsess so much about the size of your sex organs. That goes for everyone out there. I'm 16 and am uncircumcised. My foreskin covers the whole head of my penis, and I can't get at anything. Also, the hole in my foreskin doesn't line up with the one in my penis head, so when I masturbate the semen gets stuck in there until I squeeze it out. Is there anything I can do? I am worried about what will happen when I become older and want to start having intercourse. It sounds like your foreskin is tight — when your penis is erect, you should be able to retract the foreskin, exposing the penis head (glans). Ordinarily when an uncircumcised man is ejaculating, the foreskin is at least partially retracted, so the semen is expelled normally. You may be able to loosen up your foreskin over time by manually stretching the skin while massaging a lotion or oil into it; keep doing this every day until you're able to expose the entire glans easily while your penis is erect. If you're still having trouble, consider talking to your doctor about it. There's a simple office procedure in which a small incision is made in the foreskin, freeing it up. However, be aware that your doctor may try to talk you into getting a full circumcision, which is a major decision and probably isn't necessary. Make sure you fully inform yourself before going through with such a thing — some men who have been circumcised in adulthood later regretted it. I am 14 years old and have masturbated many times. Now my penis shrinks after I orgasm and ejaculate. I don't mean it only goes limp — it gets much thinner than it was before I masturbated. Later it goes back to normal, but it takes a few days to fully regain its size. Is this normal? At your age, as I'm sure you know, hormones are raging through your body. When you haven't masturbated in a while, this can result in your penis being in some condition of low-grade erection 24 hours a day. When this happens, your penis isn't necessarily firm or erect but does have some added thickness, since it contains more blood than at other times. After you masturbate, your penis may become completely un-erect for a while. The shape you're seeing is just what your penis is like in a state of non-erection. Then, as time passes, you begin to develop that base-level erection again. Don't worry about it. I've been masturbating for almost exactly a year, about once a day. One of my concerns is that I often have some chafing or open sores on the line where I have been circumcised. (It happens only if I've been especially active.) Should I try using some lube? I've never used any before. Also, I've heard of a technique called "jelqing," which supposedly was used by Middle-Easterners to enlarge their penises. Can you shed some light? - age 14, Tennessee We recommend that you use some kind of lube when you masturbate — it's just much kinder to your penis. It greatly reduces the chances of working up an abrasion, and it lets you go longer and give yourself more pleasure without roughing up the skin on your penis too badly. As for your second question, there is such a technique, but we haven't looked into its effectiveness or its safety. Why? Because we believe everyone should learn to enjoy and appreciate their own body the way it is — and the pleasure it can provide — rather than try to change it. Always remember that if you try something unsafe and you end up injuring your penis, or affect your ability to get an erection, you could regret it for the rest of your life. I was making out with my girlfriend — we both had our clothes on and such. But the boxers I was wearing had a metal snap on the fly, and I had forgotten. After a long period of making out, my penis began to hurt. So I took a look at it. It is kind of like a rug burn, except with more of a slicing that comes with metal. It took off an area of skin about one centimeter square. It hurts, and I bandage it to keep it from getting infected and irritated. What a hard area to bandage, though — forget Band-Aids, and the adhesive couldn't be too good for that type of tissue. I have to wrap it with gauze. It's embarrassing because I have to got to take a leak in the stall to hide the bandage. And I can't make out or masturbate! It has been about a week now. and it's healing very, very slow. My girlfriend feels guilty, but it isn't her fault. Is there anything I can do, and should I see a doctor? You probably don't need to see a doctor, unless it becomes infected or causes an ugly discharge, at which point you should see one right away. I recommend putting some first-aid cream on it, though — that will speed up the healing process. With this kind of thing the only thing to do is wait it out. Anyway, the wait will make you appreciate being healthy again much more. I masturbate about once a day, and over the past few months I have lost about 2" of skin right under the head of my penis. It is just red there now. I feel really bad about it and would like it to grow back as quickly as possible. I use liquid soap as a lube and squeeze a little tight. What is causing my loss of skin, and how can I get it to grow back? I'm not sure if this is the problem, but you shouldn't use liquid soap as a lubricant. It is too harsh on skin — especially if it contains an antibacterial ingredient. The skin on the penis is much thinner than on the hands, and the substance was not intended to be rubbed into the skin vigorously for a long period of time (obsessive-compulsive germophobes notwithstanding). First, switch to a lubricant that isn't harsh — preferably a personal lubricant like K-Y Jelly. Apply either zinc oxide cream or an antibiotic first-aid ointment to the area several times a day. It may help if you abstain from masturbating for a while — or at least try to avoid rubbing that area. If the problem persists, you should probably consult a doctor. I have been masturbating for a long time. My penis used to be 7 inches long, but now (about 5 months later) it is 6 to 6 1/2 inches long. It is not a huge size decrease, but I want the biggest penis I can get, and I am worried. What should I do? Also, I sometimes use spit as a lube because it feels like oral sex. Is it bad for my skin? We seriously doubt your penis has gotten permanently smaller. That just doesn't happen (unless someone chops part of it off) — at least as far as we know. It could be that you've changed your measuring method, or perhaps when you measured 7 inches you were particularly aroused and had an unusually strong erection, which will affect size a bit. By the way, saliva is perfectly fine to use as a masturbation lube and shouldn't harm your skin at all. I have been masturbating since I was 13 and have noticed this kind of red circular blister on my penis. It's sensitive only when I masturbate quite frequently. What is it? -age 15, Canada It's probably just that — a kind of blister or friction burn. It will probably go away during a period when you're not masturbating as much. In the mean time, masturbate with some kind of lubrication if you aren't already. I was reading through my sister's Seventeen magazine and noticed an article about male puberty from a female perspective. They mentioned nocturnal emissions ("wet-dreams") but failed to mention masturbation. They also said the average male penis size is 5 3/4 inches. Sometimes I wonder if this is a conspiracy to get men to feel better about themselves — if you say 5 3/4", a man of 6" will be happy with that. Most guys I've talked to seem to agree that 5 3/4" is low (some braggingly, some not). What do you think? On a related topic, I'm wondering if weight has anything to do with penis size. I'm a meager 115 pounds but feel I am "well endowed." Most larger guys I've seen are smaller. Is there a connection? Niggling over a quarter inch here or a quarter inch there is incredibly silly! What difference does it make? As for your second question, overweight people do indeed tend to have have "smaller" penises, simply because the base is partially obscured by fatty tissue. I've heard that losing 40 pounds can make the penis "grow" by roughly one inch. (It doesn't actually grow, of course, but it appears longer.) When I was younger, I could easily give myself pleasure by just touching my penis. Yet for a while now, it has become less and less sensitive. I don't quite know whether it's because of masturbation (I'm a 16-year-old circumcised virgin and I have to rub with a pretty tight — sometimes hurting — grip), or because of the constant friction of my boxers. Sexual stimulation is one of the most wonderful things in life, and I just can't live with the thought of my penis being numb. When I masturbate now, I barely get pleasure from the rubbing (only from ejaculation, and much less than before), and I get aroused much less often. I probably won't be having sex soon, as I am in kind of a depression, and I barely get out of my room. Maybe that contributes to my problem, but I'm sure it's just as much physical as psychological. I've been treating my penis with extreme care for some time now, but I've experienced no results for the better. I'm pretty desperate. Sometimes a person's penis sensitivity changes over time; sometimes it goes away and comes back. Sometimes sensitivity loss is partly or totally imagined. In any case, it's a good idea not to abuse yourself with very rough technique anymore, since that could be contributing to the problem. I seriously doubt your underwear has anything to do with it. So my recommendations would be to not touch your penis more often than every few days, and when you do, use a lighter grip and enjoy and concentrate on the feelings you do get, as opposed to demanding more and more and gripping harder and harder as a result. That will defeat the purpose. With time and patience you can retrain yourself to masturbate in accordance with what your body is telling you, and hopefully sensitivity will return. I am a 26-year-old gay male and have masturbated ever since I was 12. I have always masturbated at least 3 to 6 times a day — but when I am with my boyfriend it takes me a long time to reach orgasm, and my penis is not as sensitive as I think it should be. It is very much erect, though. Is it possible I have lost some penis sensitivity? If so, how can I regain it? I have tried not masturbating for 3 weeks and then having sex, but even then I'm still not that sensitive. Penis sensitivity can vary somewhat from person to person, in both amount and location. On some people the glans (head) is the most sensitive part, for others the skin just behind it, and still for others the skin on the underside of the penis. It's unlikely you reduced your own sensitivity through masturbation, unless you frequently used some kind of violent technique, and as far as I know there's no real way to increase the sensitivity, either. Actually, a lot of men would be envious of a penis that's less than hair-trigger sensitive. Some people even put mild topical anesthetics on their penis so they can last longer (athough it doesn't feel as good). Also, when two people get together, rarely are they equally sensitive and equally turned on by the same things — that's just stuff you have to learn about the specific person. I don't know if those things make you feel better, but they're worth considering. I am a 16 and have been wearing briefs my whole life. I have read about how underwear relates to penis size The people who have the longest penises are those who wear nothing. The second longest are those who wear boxers, and the people who wore briefs have the shortest. I would like to change to boxer-briefs, which would get my penis to be more loose than it was in briefs. Will my penis grow or stretch out, or is it too late? And if it does stretch out, by how much? My guess is your underwear won't have any effect. The differences in averages (that's hundreds of people averaged together) are really small, and there really isn't anything that indicates a true cause-and-effect situation. In other words, changing underwear types is not going to magically cause you to grow a large penis; if it did, the averages in the Survey would be much more dramatic than only a couple tenths of an inch. I understand that intense vibration can desensitize your penis. I have used a body massager since I was 12 — as a matter of fact, that's how I discovered masturbation. It broke I while back, and I haven't used one since. Will I regain any sensitivity having not used it for a while? Or is the sensitivity loss permanent? This is the first I have heard of this — although I have noticed the sensations aren't as intense as when I first started several years ago. I don't have any specific information on this, so don't take my advice as absolute truth. A certain degree of desensitization is entirely temporary, the sensitivity coming back within minutes. But I believe that if you use an intense, artificial stimulation source regularly over an extended time period, you will experience a certain degree of permanent sensation loss. Part (perhaps most or even all) of this may be psychological, since your hand simply can't match the amount of stimulation provided by a machine. I wish there were more empirical data on this phenomenon; if anyone knows of any, please let us know. My erect penis curves upward by about 30 degrees. It doesn't affect me in any way apart from how it looks. What will girls think? This is much more common than you think. Don't worry about it. A woman's vagina is highly flexible, so it's not likely to have any anatomical bearing on intercourse. By the way, girls have exactly the same "what will they think?" concerns about their bodies. Your best bet would be not to get very intimate with someone until your relationship is honest and open enough that your sexual explorations can be relaxed and playful. When that happens, such superficial worries tend to go away. What is a penis pump? I've heard people talk about them, and I want to try one. A "penis pump" is a device marketed as either a masturbating machine or a penis enlarger. It applies a partial vacuum to the penis. Beware — I have heard nothing but bad things about them from doctors. Think about it — your penis is very important to you, right? Why risk injuring it by subjecting it to an artificially created strong vacuum? I certainly would never put my own penis through these harmful conditions, and neither should you. The same thing goes with using a vacuum cleaner as a masturbation aid. Never do this! You could hurt yourself! Be kind to your penis, and it will provide you the lifetime of pleasure you deserve as a human male. Almost immediately after I start masturbating, the muscles in my penis begin to contract almost uncontrollably. It causes me to ejaculate very soon, and I think I have a premature-ejaculation problem. Are these contractions normal, or should I try to resist them? And if they are normal, should I continue trying to build to climax and stop just before ejaculation to delay the orgasm? - age 18, Ohio I'd say you should try to work with the contractions rather than either ignoring them (which wouldn't solve anything) or resist them (which would probably be frustrating and perhaps ineffective). When you feel your orgasm approaching — even if it starts to happen after only a few seconds — slow down or stop completely and rest. Learn what these contractions are telling you about how your body is reacting to the stimulus, and learn to provide just enough stimulation to keep you "on the edge" — that is, a level of stimulation that causes pleasure without sending you over the edge to orgasm. Keep this up for 10 or 20 minutes and then let go. You need to learn to prolong the stimulation and delay ejaculation if you want to become a good sexual partner. After I ejaculate, the head of my penis shrinks. The rest of my penis stays erect, so it kind of looks weird. I don't think it's a problem, but it's bugging me. I've never heard of this condition before, but I can explain what's happening. The penis contains two types of erectile tissue — the corpus cavernosum and the corpus spongiosum. The corpus cavernosum exists mostly in the shaft, but almost the entire glans (head) is made of corpus spongiosum. In your particular case, for whatever reason the spongiosum is draining after you ejaculate but the cavernosum is not. Why? Who knows, but it's probably nothing to be concerned about. I have bumps on the shaft of my penis near the base. I think they're from masturbating. How you heard of this before? Can I get rid of them? First, the bumps are not from masturbating. Second, they are very common. Third, no, you can't get rid of them. The "bumps" have to do with hair follicles — either hair will start to grow out of them soon, or (if you're an adult) they are formed by hair follicles that never actually began growing hair. Let me once again take this opportunity to stress that masturbating does not cause physical effects in your penis like bumps, different-colored areas, or reduced size. If you make this kind of connection, it means you're assuming there's something wrong with masturbation — that you shouldn't be doing it, and that since you're doing it anyway, you're being "punished" with some kind of physical "defect." Feeling a little guilty about giving ourselves pleasure, are we? I have strange bumps at the bottom of my penis head. They look like some sort of fungus. I tried washing, but they don't go away! I feel so embarrassed. What should I do? I have heard many reports of all kinds of bumps on the penis in various places. For now there probably isn't much you can do about them, and they'll probably go away if you're still in puberty. If not, you can have them removed by a dermatologist if you so desire in a simple in-the-office procedure. My advice: Enjoy your penis — don't obsess negatively on it so much! I am a 15-year-old male with a pimple-looking thing on the side of my penis. It started a couple months ago actually, but lately it's gotten bigger, and the tip turned white and stings when it is touched. It gets in the way of masturbation, and just today a small drop of white fluid came from it. How did I get it? Should I leave it alone and clean it daily, or is it serious? I've never had a pimple or zit so I don't know what they feel like. This has me very worried. A pimple doesn't hang around for a couple of months; even deep acne, like a boil, heals up after a couple weeks. Anything unusual on your body that doesn't heal needs to be checked by a doctor. If you've been sexually active, it could definitely be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease. If you haven't, it could be anything, though in that case it's less likely to be serious. In any case you should really have it looked at. Things that don't heal, especially after months, definitely call for a visit to the doc. I'm uncircumcised. What's the white stuff that builds up on the inside of my foreskin? How can I stop it from building up? - age 18, Massachusetts The substance is called smegma, and it's a secretion of the glans (head) of the penis. There's no way to reduce the amount of secretion, but the buildup can be easily prevented. In circumcised males, the smegma washes off easily and does not accumulate, but if you're uncircumcised you need to include a simple procedure in your bathing habits. Whenever you bathe, simply retract your foreskin as much as is comfortable, and wash the glans as well as the area of skin behind it. It takes only a few seconds and should reduce or eliminate the buildup you described. I'm 16 and uncircumcised. I was wondering how one would go about getting a circumcision. I'm really uncomfortable with my foreskin and would like to get it removed. Do you have any suggestions? Ideally you'd want to discuss it with your parents first, but if you're uncomfortable with that, discuss it with your primary care physician — that is, your family doctor. He would then probably need to talk to your parents (depending on where in the world you live). But you really should do plenty of research on this topic to make sure the decision you make is the right one for you. My penis is very sore...it even has some open wounds. It also sometimes oozes from the skin or the sores. I'm not sexually active, but I do masturbate. Is this normal, and what can I put on it to heal it? - age 16, New Jersey If your technique is rather rough and you don't use lubrication, yes — it happens sometimes. You should definitely use lubrication to keep this from happening in the future. As for the sores, try a first-aid cream like Neosporin or zinc oxide to speed the healing of the spots you have now; it will help if you don't masturbate for a few days. But if you do, use a lube. A while ago I masturbated to some adult films and worked a part of my foreskin raw. It healed, but now the patch of skin on my penis is thin, and all it takes is one masturbation session and it gets sore again. It's been this way for a month and a half. I'm scared I've hurt myself permanently. I would recommend applying a first-aid ointment to the area a couple of times a day and refraining from masturbation for as long a period as possible in order to allow it to heal completely. When you do masturbate, be careful and use a lubricant. I doubt you've hurt yourself permanently — but if you're absolutely unable to make the area heal for good, consult a doctor. I have heard that if a guy masturbates a lot, his penis becomes less sensitive, and that when he is trying to have sex with a woman it is hard for him to ejaculate because the vagina isn't as rough as the hand. Is this true? If I stopped masturbating for a while, would my penis become more sensitive? It's probably true that if you didn't masturbate for quite a while (like several weeks), your penis would probably become a little more sensitive. But I doubt it would be that significant — and certainly not worth the anguish of going that long without masturbating, if refraining is difficult for you. Bear in mind, though, that there are other differences between masturbating and having sex, and these might help to balance things out. When you're having sex, you're with another person whom you can touch and do other things with — and that can create a level of excitement not usually possible with masturbation. Also, the ability to delay ejaculation is actually good in male-female sex — it allows her to get more stimulation for a longer period of time, which will almost certainly make it more pleasurable and fulfilling for her. I need to know how to make my penis bigger! I have a girlfriend who wants a penis about 7 inches long. I have heard of creams, pumps, operations, and sex drops that can make your penis up to three inches bigger! That would make me 9 1/5 inches (a little extra for her and little more pleasure for me)! How can I get these products at my age — and if I can buy condoms, how come I can't buy the creams, pumps, or sex drops? - age 15, Michigan (and) I am from Budapest, and my problem is I have a very small penis. I am always embarrassed in the locker-room showers, hearing boys tease me about the small size of my wee-wee. My mates call me "Short Dick Boy" or "Futyike." (That is a child's nickname for a baby boy's penis in Hungarian, just like "Petit Zizi" in French or probably "Teenie Peenie" in English.) How can I make it bigger and better? - age 17, Hungary I hate to break it to you, guys, but there is no way to make your penis any bigger than it is, with the possible exception of an expensive operation which is primarily intended for adult men with penises much smaller than average. There is a lot of societal pressure on boys to have large penises, and it's so ingrained in males' minds that unscrupulous companies are able to make big bucks advertising products that claim to enlarge your penis. They just don't work, and some can even be harmful. Believe me, you're much better off with your present penis than one that's permanently injured by some so-called penis-lengthening device. My penis is only 5 3/4 inches long. Do you think it will get any bigger, or is there anything I can do to make it bigger? - age 16, Maine Relax — your penis is plenty big enough. At your age, it might still have some growing to do — but there really isn't any way to make it bigger, nor any need to. My penis is about 6 inches long. My friend told me that if you take a lot of zinc before and after puberty, it will increase your penis size. Is this true? He also told me about having an orgasm without ejaculating. What is this called, and how can it be done? And most of all, is it safe? -age 15, South Carolina Taking zinc, or any nutrient for that matter, may affect your penis (and body) size, but probably not by much. Assuming all other factors are equal, if one identical twin has poor nutrition and the other has excellent nutrition, the better-nourished one will tend to grow taller and develop more fully. So even though you'll never know exactly what effect it's having, it never hurts to eat your vegetables! On your second question, there are a few techniques that can result in orgasm without ejaculation, or extended orgasmic states. But we generally don't go into them here , because these techniques are advanced and tricky to perform safely. We don't want anyone getting hurt trying exotic, delicate techniques, so we advise you just to keep enjoying your normal ejaculations like everyone else. I'm 18 years old, but my penis is only 3.5 inches long when erect. I'm self-conscious about it, so I don't shower in the school showers or go skinny-dipping with my friends. Could there be something wrong with it? The other male members of my family are huge compared to me. Also, will I still be able to fulfill a woman with such a small penis? -age 18, Texas Your penis is smaller than average, but it isn't that small. I seriously doubt there's anything "wrong" with it, although it never hurts to discuss any personal health concerns with your doctor. You should still be able to satisfy women — especially if you make use of alternative types of stimulation, such as oral techniques. In fact, everybody could do more of that — right, girls? My penis is 9 inches long erect, and 5 1/2 inches limp. No matter what anybody says, I know that's too big for my age, or almost anybody's age. My question concerns the hormones pumped into animals these days to stimulate growth and food production (e.g., cows for milk and turkeys for roasting). Could this possibly be the culprit of my over-adequate size? - age 14, Washington I'm not a doctor, but I'd say that's next to impossible. First, you're eating the same beef, turkey, and milk that everyone else is eating, so wouldn't everyone your age have the same condition? Second, if the concentrations of artificial hormones were high enough to affect penis growth (which I'm not even sure they could), you'd be experiencing other symptoms — like abnormally dense body hair, or acromegaly (abnormal accumulation of bone mass). While you may consider your penis too large, it's a part of you, and you should learn to accept it. In fact, try to be thankful, because your health could be in a lot worse shape than it is now. My penis is 9 3/4" long and 6" limp. I'm 17 years old and finished puberty. When I get horny when I'm at school, or at a beach or any other public place, you can tell I have an erection. (I don't wear any shorts that are shorter than my knees, just in case.) It was spotted a few times in the locker room, and I feel embarrassed about it. The girls love it, but I always "hit rock bottom" [reach the end of the vagina], and that's no fun for me. Is there a way I could decrease my penis to about 8" or maybe 7", or anything else I can do? Though it's impractical and unhealthy, the only real way I know is to gain a lot of weight. It's been said that if you're very overweight, losing 40 pounds can increase your apparent penis size by as much as an inch ("apparent" because it was there all the time, only surrounded by fatty tissue). So, the inverse is probably true. But gaining 80 pounds is obviously not the ideal solution. You might want to ask your doctor — I've never heard of a penis-size reducing operation, but perhaps it does exist. Does a person who hit puberty early have a bigger penis than a person who hit puberty late? - age 15, Hawaii I don't think there's any correlation. . What is the average circumference of a penis? - age 16, Illinois Somewhere around four or five inches — but it varies widely, just like penis length. I was wondering what the average size was of a flaccid [soft] penis. Mine is about four inches long. Is that small? - age 15, Maine The size of flaccid penises actually varies much more than that of erect penises. If you've seen other guys your age in the showers at school, you probably noticed there's a wide variety of penises. Yet, if you were see these boys with erections, you'd see their penises would be much closer in size. Small ones tend to get much bigger when they're erect, and the longer ones just tend to straighten out and get hard. I don't have an average figure for you — it's really impossible to measure anyway, because even on the same person the flaccid penis can change in size dramatically depending on a bunch of factors, such as temperature — but four inches is well within the "normal" range. What is the correct way to measure your erect penis? I have tried several different ways, and it comes out between 6 1/2 to almost 8. What am I doing wrong? - age 16, New York There isn't really a standard method, but a good one I've read goes as follows: Get your penis as erect as possible. While it's still fully erect, push it down (if necessary) so it's sticking straight out from your body. Then lay a ruler over the top surface, and press the end of the ruler directly against your pubic hair, as far as it will go. Measure to the very end of your penis, making sure it's still sticking out from your body with no angle at all. With this method, you can measure it to the millimeter, and it'll be the same exact length every time. (If it's not still growing, anyway.) Will weight training decrease your penis size? - age 15, Washington No. There are a couple of places where this myth may have come from. First, steroids — dangerous muscle-building drugs used by some bodybuilders — have been known to cause the genitals to shrink, although weightlifting by itself does not. Second, large bodybuilders may appear to have small genitals when viewed in skimpy bikini bottoms — but that may be only in proportion to the rest of their bodies. Is masturbation exercise for the penis, and if so, will it make mine bigger? Mine's only 6", and one time I saw my brother's, and his penis is huge. - age 16, Washington Sorry, but masturbation will not increase the size of your penis. If it did, there would be some pretty big penises out there! I have masturbated for over a year, and it seems my penis is bending to the left side. Do all guys' penises do that? - age 14, Iowa This is very common and may result, in part, from masturbation. It's harmless and will not have any effect on your sex life, though, so don't worry. My friend's penis curves upward when it is erect, and mine doesn't. Why is that? Our penises are the same size. - age 16, Pennsylvania Every penis is built a little differently. Some curve down, and some curve to the left or right when erect. If it provides pleasure, it shouldn't matter what shape it is. My penis gets very hard and lies flat against my stomach, sometimes making it difficult to masturbate. Any suggestions? - age 16, Scotland This could be a problem later on in your sex life, so you should work on it a little now. It may be uncomfortable "prying" your erect penis from your abdomen, but work on it a bit. Your penis will need a good deal of room on all sides when you're having intercourse, so if you can gradually get it more mobile, you'll be in better shape later on. When I masturbate a lot, the skin on my penis gets all dry. What can I do about it? I love masturbating so much. - age 17, Idaho This is fairly common, especially in the winter months when the air is dry. You can keep your penis moist by regularly using a skin moisturizer (such as hand lotion), or by using hand lotion as a lube. Sometimes after masturbating, my penis gets very tender and stings in some areas when I touch it. What should I do about it? - age 13, Pennsylvania It sounds like you masturbate dry, without lubrication, and that you use a fairly tight grip. Unlike other parts of the body, the penis won't develop calluses. The skin of a penis is thin (a good thing — if it weren't it wouldn't feel as good), and it wears away earlier, leaving raw spots after a tough masturbation session. I recommend using lubrication. I've noticed that usually after my friends ejaculate, their penises get soft. Mine doesn't go down, and I have to keep masturbating until I ejaculate again to get it down. What gives? - age 16, New Jersey It sounds like your body is just built a little differently. It probably seems like a hassle, but some guys would kill to have that ability to keep going! Lately my penis has been getting hard all the time, even when I don't think about sex at all. It seems to have a mind of its own. What can I do about it? I masturbate 3 or 4 times a day, but that doesn't stop me from getting erections all the time. It's really embarrassing sometimes — at school, when I've got a bulge in my pants, I imagine everyone is staring at it. - age 14, Australia Welcome to puberty! You're describing one of the most common experiences of a boy's teenage years. There are some ways to help this problem, though. Wear tighter underwear (briefs) and less revealing pants, and if you feel yourself start to get an erection, discreetly put a hand in one of your pockets and move your penis so it's pointing to the side. It also helps sometimes to keep your hands in your pockets, so you can hold your penis in this position. Other than that, good luck! Are more boys circumcised or uncircumcised in the U.S.? In the world? Do uncircumcised boys need to use lubrication, too, or is that just for circumcised guys? - age 14, Texas I don't have the exact statistics, but I believe most newborn infants are still routinely circumcised although the number goes down each year. In most parts of the world, boys are rarely circumcised. Outside the U.S., circumcision is common only in countries that are primarily of the Muslim or Jewish religions. Most uncircumcised guys have no need for lubrication, although some use it anyway. Is it true that uncircumcised penises are more sensitive? - age 14, Oregon That's a subject of some debate, as is the question of whether large penises feel better to their owners than smaller ones. But many men who have been circumcised late in life assert that their sensitivity was better before the operation, and for years there has been a movement to eliminate the routine circumcision of infants. I am uncut [uncircumcised], and I take great pleasure in being uncut. I believe it helps during masturbation to give, like, a third hand.. Anyway, I have heard rumors around school about women refusing to be with guys who are uncut. Is this true? - age 15, Maryland It's probably just what you say — rumors. Some girls do have preferences, and perhaps may have difficulties learning to do certain sexual things with them if they've never played with an uncircumcised penis before — but it would be extreme to say they'd "refuse" to "be with" uncut guys. I'm the only boy in my gym class with foreskin on my penis. I get teased about it a lot, although I like the feeling when I masturbate. Some of the guys asked me to show them how I slide the skin back — they all laughed, but a couple of them got erections while watching me. Do you think they are just jealous? Or should I ask my dad if I could have the foreskin cut off? - age 13, Minnesota Listen — a lot of grown circumcised men are envious of guys like you, so leave your penis the way it is. Uncircumcised guys all report a great feeling when the foreskin moves across the head of the penis, so you should be happy you're one of them. And as far as those other guys are concerned — consider them just jealous, okay? I am uncircumcised, and when I get an erection, my foreskin is never pulled back far enough to show the entire head of my penis — my foreskin is fairly tight. Sometimes when I'm "really" hard it will pull back and I'll be able to see the hole in the end of my penis. But when I masturbate, it feels great to rub the head of my penis with my foreskin. I've seen pictures of other "uncut" guys who look "cut" once they have an erection. What gives? - age 18, Canada It just depends on the anatomy of your particular penis. For some uncircumcised men, erection naturally exposes the head of the penis, and for others, you have to pull back the foreskin to see it. If retracting the foreskin is very uncomfortable, it is probably too tight and you should see a doctor. I am 13 years old and not circumcised. After I masturbate a few times (three or four times in one day, or even if I do it only once a day for three or four days in a row), my foreskin gets really sore, and it hurts to masturbate. It also turns red on the very end and appears to have little cuts around it. The foreskin slides back very easily when I'm not erect, but it is tight when I am erect. What can I do to stop this from happening, other than not masturbating? Your foreskin is probably too tight. There is a simple procedure a doctor can perform that can greatly increase your comfort; it involves making a slight incision in the foreskin. (Whatever you do, do not try this at home!) In the mean time, though, try putting some Vaseline on your foreskin before masturbating. That might help to keep it from becoming irritated. In the mean time, apply some first-aid ointment, like Neosporin, to help it heal. I am looking for the name of a medical condition in which the foreskin is too tight for the penis (I think it starts with a "p"). I think this condition would necessitate an emergency circumcision — the removal of the entire foreskin. However, I also read there's a procedure that can be done in the doctor's office that leaves the foreskin nearly completely intact. Which of these is correct? I believe you're thinking of "phimosis." There are various medical ways to approach the problem, but you need to consult with a doctor. Different doctors have different opinions on how the condition should be approached. If your doctor diagnoses phimosis and recommends circumcision, but you don't want one, get a second opinion — or a third. Try to do what you think is right for your penis, in consultation with a doctor you trust. Is my penis unclean? Do I need to wash my hands after I masturbate? - age 17, Canada If you get lube or semen on them, perhaps — but in terms of germs, the penis is actually one of the cleaner parts of your body. (Unless you have a sexually transmitted disease, anyway.) In fact, your own mouth has many more bacteria in it than does the surface of your penis. -- www.igituba.org - kuko isoni zirisha uburozi www.althotgirls.com-World Hottest Girls www.laughingtonpost.com-World's Best Humor www.myvagina.org-All About Female Sexuality www.thefreecashreport.blogspot.com-Make Money

Ultimate Dating Secrets For Men Posted: 10 Sep 2009 03:46 AM PDT Ultimate Dating Secrets For Men by H.Bangambiki http://www.laughingtonpost.com Dating Advice for Men Lesson 1 Appearance - Clothes and shoes A women appreciates a man who looks good or at least tries to. Women take great care and effort of what they wear for different occasions and also take note of guys who do the same. Clothes is THE difference between dashing and ordinary. In addition, women do take note of shoes. It explains why they have a whole shoe rack full of shoes. Therefore, choose your shoes wisely too. Although different women have different taste in choice of clothes for men, it is generally acceptable to look neat and tidy. Here are some ways to achieve it. 1. Dressed Suitably Formal wear are for formal occasions such as dinner in restaurants. T-shirts and jeans are for simple date at the mall. Shorts and singlets are for jogging in your nearby park and so on. You get the picture. 2. Iron your clothes Its not a very good image to portray if your clothes are crumpled and you go out on a date. A woman will think that you are lazy and do not place any importance on the date. 3. Do NOT wear clothes with vulgarities, sexually suggestive images or words We know that these clothes might be your favorite as it is very cheeky or portrays your style that you do not give a damn what's happening around. However, its a definite no no for dates as its rude, insensitive and too explicit for any potential girlfriends/wives to take it. 4. Go for well known , respected brands We do not want you to show off. However, it is always nice to wear something that lets you get noticed by your date. If branded stuff is not your thing, at least get a simple respected brand that do not portray you as a cheapskate. 5. Ask another women for opinion Lets face it. Man are pretty hopeless at fashion. That's why we hate shopping.(The clothes look the same anyway) To understand what is appropriate, what is nice on you, it is always good to get a female's opinion. After all, your date is another female and it is your date that is going to judge you on your date. Dating Advice for Men Lesson2 Appearance - General Not every man is born tall dark and handsome. In fact most are not. However, by looking presentable, every man can still capture the attention of their date. Here are some tips to look nice and presentable. 1. Shave before going out No women will like the look of a rough beard or moustache sticking out from your face. Although there are the odd few who finds it sexy, chances are its better to look clean shaven and tidy. It gives a better positive image of a person who cares about the date and who takes care of oneself. 2. Bathe often It not our fault that men have larger sweat glands neither is it our fault that men enjoy sports that makes us soak in sweat. However, it could be our fault if we do not shower frequently. Every woman likes his man to smell nice and look clean. So if you're the type that sweat easily, be prepared to shower more, especially before meeting your date. 3. Get your cologne, aftershave out Cologne and aftershaves are not for Gays. In fact, women find men who smell nice masculine. Just like bathing often, its also important to smell nice. After all, you do not want to spoil your first kiss with your date just because you smell awful. 4. Smile often A smile helps to lessen the tension, projects a lively and positive image and best of all, a person always looks the best when you're smiling. We should always be smiling as we never know who is in love with your smile. Therefore practice smiling now if you are going out on a date soon! 5. Do not slouch Slouching gives a bad impression of a person that is not confident, weak and no sense of security. Therefore, do what your mum always tell you. Stand straight and be proud of your height. Dating Advice for Men Lesson 3 Confidence and Success A confident man is a good looking man. Brad pitt can wear a skirt and yet look macho. However, confidence stems from success. Success in doing whatever you do impresses girls. Woman love a man who knows what they want and what they have done. The more difficult it is to achieve the success, the more impressed the girl. Here are some tips to show your confidence and success. 1. Know your goals Women loves a man with direction. It gives them a sense of security. Even if you do not have much success in your goals, knowing your goals and letting her know that is the sign of a man who is clear and far sighted. Therefore, if you do not have goals up till now, its time to start thinking. 2. Be yourself Everybody should be proud of themselves. It says a lot about your confidence. If you're a goofy character, just be one in front of her instead of trying to be somebody else. A women will love you for what your are and not what you try to be. 3. Take Risks, Break rules Everybody admires risk taker. This includes women. A risk taker is seen as brave and charming as they are doing stuff ordinary people dare not do. This includes breaking conventional rules. It explains why bad boys often attract the best lookers out there. 4. Be knowledgeable A knowledgeable man is seen as a confident man. A man who speaks wisdom with his every word is deem more successful then a man who craps a lot. So start ordering your newspapers and newsweek magazines now if you have not done so. Dating Advice for Men Lesson 4 Behavior There's a proper way to behave in front of ladies. It is never nice to let women see the rough side of you especially on your first date. Behavior shows your character and whether your relationship can carry on. It is a further step forward after first impressions. 1. Do be chivalrous Its the 21st century. No doubt that men and women have equal rights. However, there's nothing wrong to continue showing chivalry to women. Opening doors, helping to carry shopping bags, sending her home are all basic courtesy that is on the decline. However, women still loved to be pampered and there's nothing wrong with that. Stick with the ancient code of being a gentleman and you'll never be wrong. 2. Do treat women with respect Do not ever make sexist or insensitive comments about women. Do not swear and curse when at the waiters just because they give bad service. Listen when your date talks and talk when she stops talking. Treat her properly and chances are you'll leave a lasting impression. 3. Do maintain eye contact Eye contact is very important to show that you're interested in whatever she's talking. Its extremely disgusting if your date is talking and you are distracted by the chick that just walked by. However, its also important not to stare at her especially if you've just met her as it gives the impression that you are a pervert that is following her every action. 4. Don't get drunk in front of her Being able to hold your liquor well equates to being strong in front of your mates. However, it is directly the opposite with women. Women hate drunkards as they are rowdy, noisy and totally obnoxious. They are a complete turnoff. Therefore, if possible, drink less if you're out on a date. Best of all, don't drink. 5. Don't get touchy too quickly When you touch a woman, it breaks down their self defense and they will only allow this when they feel totally at ease and attracted to you. Therefore, unless she touches you or you feel totally at ease with her and that she's attracted to you. Do not touch her too quickly as she might think you only want sex Dating Advice for Men Lesson 5 Conversation - what to say and take note Its always important to say the right things and things that will impress. Its also tremendously important not to say stupid things which may offend your date. You also do not want to bore your date by talking about things she totally cannot relate to. These are some things that you can mention or should take note while striking a conversation. 1. Be open minded Do not show extremism towards subjects that your date talks about. It might just be something that she cares a lot about. Do not make any crude remarks on anything she says for the same reason. You do not want to leave a bad impression so fast. 2. Talk about common topics Its a very common tip but its one of the most difficult to master. Man will naturally like to talk about themselves and their interests. However, there's no harm in talking about something in which your date has a huge passion for and you find it boring. There is also no harm talking about hot topics that she might be interested in. If you really are clueless about what to talk to her about, do some research beforehand on what to say. Her friends and appearance are good resources to start from. 3. Compliment and talk about her dressing As mentioned in Lesson #1, women take great care of their dressing and man should therefore take notice of what women wear and compliment them. However, compliment her casually as you do not want her to think that you're totally captivated by her. You can follow up on her dressing by asking where she bought it and how much it cost. It helps her to feel important. 4. Joke The sure way to succeed is always humor as women relates witty guys to not boring. No women likes boring guys no matter how good the impression he makes. Jokes can liven the atmosphere and creates a good impression for you. 5. Don't talk about sports, politics or other male gender dominated topics unless she is interested in them too Men love their sports. Sports competitiveness brings out the excitement and happiness of men. However, most women know nuts about sports. Its no use telling your date about Michael Jordon's glorious history when she is more interested in the cute boyish basketballer on the court. Therefore, unless you want to talk about how cute that basketballer is, steer clear of sports. The same rule applies for other male gender dominated topics. 6. Lastly, Listen Its no coincidence that women talks much more then men per day. Women love to talk and let their opinions be known. Therefore, its important to listen and appreciate what she says instead of talking all the time. It makes your date feels important. by H.Bangambiki http://www.laughingtonpost.com -- www.igituba.org - kuko isoni zirisha uburozi www.althotgirls.com-World Hottest Girls www.laughingtonpost.com-World's Best Humor www.myvagina.org-All About Female Sexuality www.thefreecashreport.blogspot.com-Make Money

Kissing Secrets Revealed Posted: 10 Sep 2009 03:45 AM PDT Kissing Secrets Revealed by H.Bangambiki http://www.laughingtonpost.com http://www.althotgirls.com Kissing Explained Kissing your lover should be an everyday affair, an expression of your love for him or her. You should not use every kissing session as a prelude to sex. The kiss is the single most intimate display of affection. The kiss is the key that opens the door to both her heart, and her body. It has been found that most women based their decision of whether they would sleep with a man, on his kissing abilities! A Man Sees Kissing as the Next Step on a Quest Most men if given a chance to kiss a woman thinks while kissing that when can we get to step two? And three and four? Is she aroused yet? Can I put my hand on her breast now? A man sees kissing as the next step on a quest. Many men take kissing as a step to get down to the good stuff. As a result, they rush through the kissing and do not get to fully enjoy the delightfulness of a long, passionate, kiss. The Kiss Should Not Be a Step but a Destination In Itself Actually the kiss is not a step, it is the the destination itself. A man kisses a woman like he will never do anything else with this woman, as if he never wants to do anything else with this woman. But this is when the woman decides there will be other activities on the agenda. Kissing- Keep It Simple and Sexy You want to be a great kisser? Then keep it simple and sexy. Forget about impressing her with that heavenly kiss. Instead, indulge yourself in a simple, sexy and intimate kiss. Rid your mind of any kissing performance thoughts, and instead, realize that she's opening the door to her soul and body. Enjoy the moment! Kissing Says Something Words Can't If the eyes tell the secrets of a person, then lips are the informers of our consciousness. Our lips respond to happy thoughts by smiling, they express our deepest emotions with words of love and hope ,and kissing is the only way to say something that words can't. The First Kiss? A first kiss!! It should always be done while the two of you are alone.(Do I need to tell that?) This will help to avoid any unnecessary nervousness and embarrassing situations. The best type of kiss is one that uses different variations...such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French kiss, maybe sucking on your partner's upper or lower lip... And don't just leave kisses to the lips. Kiss the whole face. This can be very seductive and romantic. Kissing is an Art Form Kissing is an art form. The kissing experience is different for each of us.The first step to kissing is known as finding her comfort level. Make sure she is ready for a kiss and do not start anything until she is comfortable. Give a Memorable Kiss The best kisses are those that are memorable, but leave you pantingly wanting more. The language of a kiss is communication without words. At various times you want to communicate attraction, affection, love, passion, lust, and I'll miss you, baby. Pay attention to what your mate responds to, and what seems to turn him or her off, then adjust your techniques accordingly. Great Kissing Tips After you've kissed him/her once, you know he/she wants to kiss you. But what if you two have never kissed? The first kiss is the hardest. Couples should not limit kissing merely to times like making out, or as the conclusion to a date or a prelude to something more. Kissing your lover should be an everyday affair, an expression of your love for her. You should not use every kissing session as a prelude to s*x. Good and Bad Kissing If you are a bad kisser, what a woman will never, ever say to you she was going to have s*x with you until just that moment. This is one of the ways in which men and women differ. If a man is very attracted to a woman but discovers she's a bad kisser and if he is presented with the opportunity, he'll probably have s*x with her anyway. A woman can't get past a bad kiss. After all, if he hasn't mastered kissing and fails to see its sensual possibilities, what hope is there for anything else? Kissing Techniques The secret to being a great kisser is to keep it simple and sexy. Forget about impressing her with that Casanovian kiss. Instead, indulge yourself in a simple, sexy and intimate kiss. Rid your mind of any kissing performance thoughts, and instead, realize that she's opening the door to her soul and body. Enjoy the moment! You could ask him/her to kiss you, but that takes a lot of courage. But you can tell, without reading his mind. Here are some ways. He could have worked on the science project with someone else, but he asked you. He could have called somebody else to chat about the Math assignment, but he called you. He could have sat anywhere in the cafeteria, but he sat next to you. It all means he likes to hang out with you. And what about when you're with him. Does he sit close to you? Does he smile and look happy when you're together? These are all signs that he likes you and might want to kiss you. Dos and Don'ts for Kissing 1.Don't drool all over her mouth while kissing. Women don't like wet or sloppy kisses. 2.Don't keep your lips stiff and rigid. You've got to keep your lips soft and sensuous. She needs to be able to feel your lips. 3.Don't keep your lips closed. Open your lips! Women don't enjoy kissing just a slit on a guys face. If you don't know how to kiss properly, try to practice on the back of your hand. Pretend that you are kissing a hot & sexy beautiful woman that you're dying to become intimate with. You could also practice kissing yourself on the mirror. In short, if you really want to succeed with single women in the love and romance department, you must be a good kisser. A great kiss should always be when you're alone with her. A movie theatre is a good place because it's dark and people won't be paying attention. Try to sit near the back, though, for privacy. But I do believe that a first kiss should be the good-bye kiss. When you're dropping her off at her place or saying good-bye from seeing one another until the next time, ask her if it's okay if you kiss her. It's not childish or geeky to ask a woman that. It's respectful and kind. Daniel Day-Lewis belongs in the kissing hall of fame for Best Use of Hands. He gently caresses his costar's face and touches her hair, a model of how hands can increase the erotic pleasure of the moment. Bear in mind the hands should not be used to prevent the woman from going anywhere or to clamp her head into one uncomfortable position. Remember most women like men to toy gently with their hair. After decades of bad press about sticky hairsprays and helmet hair, most of us have been using products to enhance "touch ability" and are favoring hairstyles that look good a bit tousled. So go ahead and touch hair. And quit using all that sticky hairspray and goo so we can go back to touching yours. Keep in mind that using your tongue is not required for kissing... if you are not experienced, save the French kissing (kissing using your tongue) for later. Lots of the greatest kisses are all about the lips. When you are comfortable kissing your partner, experiment with different ways to taste and nuzzle his lips. Caress his lips by brushing your lips back and forth against them, lick the outside corners of his mouth, and try using different pressures and movements to gently explore your partner's lips. Notice how good his lips feel against yours, and try different things to make them feel even better! Bad Kissing Could Make You Loose a Girl If you are a bad kisser, what a woman will never, ever say to you she was going to have s*x with you until just that moment. This is one of the ways in which men and women differ. If a man is very attracted to a woman but discovers she's a bad kisser and if he is presented with the opportunity, he'll probably have s*x with her anyway. A woman can't get past a bad kiss. After all, if he hasn't mastered kissing and fails to see its sensual possibilities, what hope is there for anything else? Who Likes Kissing the Most? It seems that even though men think kissing is okay, they looked at it more as a necessary evil to get to the good part. Women seemed to prefer long, lingering kisses that didn't necessarily have to lead to anything else. Reportedly, for a woman, pressure from their male partner to make it lead somewhere took away from the enjoyment of the moment. What to Avoid While Kissing? 1.Don't drool all over her mouth while kissing. Women don't like wet or sloppy kisses. 2.Don't keep your lips stiff and rigid. You've got to keep your lips soft and sensuous. She needs to be able to feel your lips. 3.Don't keep your lips closed. Open your lips! Women don't enjoy kissing just a slit on a guys face. 4.Avoid bad breath.If you want to ruin a perfect kiss then bad breath is your best possible solution. Now no need to say that you should avoid spicy foods, garlic and onions just before. If you want to eat then another solution is make sure you're both eating spicy food, so neither will notice. 5.Silence. Every now and then say something sweet. The Ultimate Kissing FAQ Kissing Faq-1. What to Avoid While Kissing? 1.Don't drool all over her mouth while kissing. Women don't like wet or sloppy kisses. 2.Don't keep your lips stiff and rigid. You've got to keep your lips soft and sensuous. She needs to be able to feel your lips. 3.Don't keep your lips closed. Open your lips! Women don't enjoy kissing just a slit on a guys face. 4.Avoid bad breath.If you want to ruin a perfect kiss then bad breath is your best possible solution. Now no need to say that you should avoid spicy foods, garlic and onions just before. If you want to eat then another solution is make sure you're both eating spicy food, so neither will notice. 5.Silence. Every now and then say something sweet. Kissing Faq-2. How to Kiss Pationately? The great secret to great kissing is variety. Sometimes be gentle and at other times be rough. Tease your partner with a little bite on the lips as if you wanted to eat them up! Press your nose into your parteners cheek and hug Kissing Faq-2. What Part of the Tongue to Use? Another important aspect of kissing is to use the middle part of the tongue in your kiss because of the large number of sensitive nerve endings there. The kiss you give your partner will be positively electrifying! Kissing Faq-3. What to do if you Bang Teeth Lough it off.Tell your partner you're so keen to kiss him and that you are grtting dizzy just standing close to him/her. They'll believe you and be confident and go on Kissing Faq-4. Where to Kiss Kissing in public is cool, but not in front of Mom. Men loved to be kissed with their eyes open, so that you two lock eyes seems to drive them wild. Men and women both seem to like being kissed in places other than the lips with neck, ears and eyes ranking highly. Kissing Faq-5. Who is Kissable? Men and women both thought the idea of kissing someone who was clean, had beautifully full and shapely lips, who was attractive, and who possessed a great smile and nice teeth was a "10" on the kissable scale. Guys also felt that if a woman seemed open and friendly, she was more likely to be the recipient of a romantically spontaneous kiss than a woman that seemed uptight. Kissing Faq-6. Who Likes Kissing the Most? It seems that even though men think kissing is okay, they looked at it more as a necessary evil to get to the good part. Women seemed to prefer long, lingering kisses that didn't necessarily have to lead to anything else. Reportedly, for a woman, pressure from their male partner to make it lead somewhere took away from the enjoyment of the moment. Kissing Faq-7. How to French Kiss? The secret to french kissing is responsiveness.Sometimes you lead, at other time you let your partner lead. Don't just use your tongue like a dart. Kissing Faq-8. How to Handle Your First Kiss? Bluff yor way through the first kiss. No one will know it's the first time unless you say so. Try a gentle lip kiss and keep your lips closed. If you open up, you're inviting a tongue kiss famously known as a french kiss Kissing Thoughts If eyes tell the sectrets of a person, then lips are the informers of our consciousness. Our lips respond to happy thoughts by smiling, they express our deepest emotions with words of love and hope ,and kissing is the only way to say something that words can't. You can take a look on the following tips to make your kissing a fabulous experience. During kissing, just gently press your lips against hers. You can move your lips a bit back and forth against hers or in a small circular motion at your will. When you meet her lips at slight angle, it is the best type of kiss. This gives more opportunities to explore, it feels nicer, and will give you a chance to French kiss if you wish. Keep your eyes closed once you are into the kiss. You might want to keep them open until you have actual lip contact. But when the kiss has started, eyes closed, is the way to go. It can really help you shut out the world and focus only on the kiss. It is generally considered as guys who kiss with their eyes open are usually thinking of something else besides you. If you catch your partner kissing with eyes wide, be careful - he might not be good material. You might want to follow movie stars but there are some movie stars who perpetuate bad kissing styles. Take Tom Cruise Method (as seen in Top Gun), for example, whereby his tongue is already slithering out before he's met her lips. It is referred to as the Lizard-King Style. Most women do not like the idea of kissing a large snake, which is what this must be similar to. The only response possible is for the woman to open her mouth wide and remain motionless while he finishes his routing, a posture that calls to mind trips to the dentist. About opening your eyes, there is one more view. Some people find to keep open their eyes open to be an impossible task (like sneezing with your eyes open), but while the customary belief is that we must try to block out all other sensations, you may find that kissing with your eyes open is the very much equivalent of making love with the lights on. And if you're going to be kissing for several hours in a make-out bar, it's a good idea to take a look at economic conditions! How to get him/her to kiss you? Many times people find themselves nervous sending out mixed signals. You might want him or her to kiss you, but your nervous behavior might be saying "just stay away." First of all you and your posture should be open. Sit or stand close to the person whom you want to kiss. Face him or him. Look in his or her eyes, not at the ground. Don't cross your arms or lean away; or, instead of "kiss me" you'll be saying "go away!" Smile is also important. Here is something for women. Get close to him. Don't fear to hold his/her hands. Ask him to help you remove an earring, or undo the clasp of that gold chain you're wearing. To do that he's got to put both hands on your neck. Now turn your head, and look in his eyes, and be quiet. Smile. If he says anything, just interrupt and whisper his name softly. He'll kiss you for sure! Kissing and sex There is a lot of fun in kissing. Its not like just because you are kissing a guy you have to do anything more. On the other hand, once you're kissing passionately, you might both feel like going further. I think best way to avoid going further is to kiss him or her in a semi-public place. Theatre is the best place according to me. If you kiss him in a movie theater or on your front porch, sex is not likely to happen right there I hope. On the other hand, if you're sitting on your bed when your parents aren't home, there's not really anything to stop you, so it's something you might want to avoid. The following is a list of kisses you should avoid: You must avoid the Lizard kiss in which your tongue darts in and out of his or her mouth like a reptile probing for something. Another kiss to avoid is one called the Roto Rooter in which your tongue ventures so far down her throat that it actually begins to choke her. Another is when you operate your tongue much like a swordfish, and use your nose in a blunt and violent manner. The one kiss in which you rarely come up for air. Avoid the freezing condition in which you never change the position, posture, or angle of your head. Its really boring. You seem to emit an awful smell and taste. All she can think of is how to slip you a breath mint. 36 KISSING SECRET WAYS THAT WILL REVOLUTIONISE YOUR LOVE LIFE Below you will find a variety of kiss types. If you find some that catch your fancy, feel free to try them :-) Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart. Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek. Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors. Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together. Eye Kiss - Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes. Eyelid Kiss - While your partner is resting/sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss. Finger Kiss - While laying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable. Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss. Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head. Freeze Kiss (or Melt Kiss) - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold. French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss". Fruity Kiss - Take a small piece of fruit and place between your lips (juicy fruits such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of pineapple or mango are ideal). Kiss your partner and nibble one half of the piece of fruit while they nibble the other until it breaks in half, allowing the juice to run into your mouths. Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady. Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay. Hostage Kiss - Cover your lips with tape and get your love's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say tell them: "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss your love passionately! Hot and Cold Kiss - Lick your partner's lips so that they're warm, and then gently blow on them. The sudden cold blast makes for a sensual explosion, and they will often try it on you next, as well as get very passionate. Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover. Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX. Lick Kiss - Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it be the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual. Lip Sucking Kiss - When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting. Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips. Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations. Reverse Lips Kiss - It involves standing above your lover and kissing them from over their head. This way, each kisser can take the hyper-sensitive bottom lip of thier lover in their mouths, and GENTLY draw blood to the surface of the lip by nibbling and sucking. A very sensuous, connecting kiss. Searching The Cavern - Use the lips and tongue to gently tickle and kiss your lover's navel. Vary speeds and stroke to change sensation. Invigorating and intoxicating. Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss. Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it. Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth." Teaser Kiss - Starting on the forehead, a sweet short kiss on lips, then move up the arms up to her hand, kiss her hand, then come back up her arm, to her face and then lightly kiss her lips till she wants a passionate kiss. The Buzzing Kiss - Gently place your lips against your lover's neck , behind their ear. Now, send a shudder through their skin by gently growling and humming, vibrating your lips and cheeks as you do so. Move up and down the neck, over the bones of the face and lips. Stimulating and erotic when done correctly. The Whipped Cream Kiss - Dip your finger into some cool whip or whipped cream of your choice. Lick it off slowly, then embrace your partner and kiss them deeply letting their tongue slip over yours for a wonderfully sweet kiss. It's very seductive and passionate. Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them. Trickle Kiss - Take a sip of a favourite drink and trickle it slowly into partner's mouth while kissing. Tongue Sucking - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-) Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips. Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss. Wake Up Kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up! Worst Types of Kisses The Katrina Kiss. If you watch television and are even the least bit aware of world events, you know what I'm talking about! This is a kiss with entirely too much water. You are drooled on, slobbered on and when the kiss is over, you feel the need for a towel and maybe a shower. If you have a salivary gland problem, or your partner just makes you drool with lust, try swallowing before you start kissing. The Iguana Kiss. Crusty, crunchy, scaly lips are OUT. This is a true case of lizard lips! Keep that kisser soft and touchable. If you run your lips gently across your lovers neck, cheek and lips, they shouldn't be left with what look like paper cuts. The Prozac Kiss. You might wonder if this tongue needs tranquilizers, as it appears to be having a nervous breakdown! Fast, furious, darting or high-speed swirling motions reminiscent of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. Interesting I suppose, if you're into that sort of "household instrument" thing. The Cave. In this instance your partner's mouth is open so wide that your tongue meets nothing but air on all sides! There is no exchange of sensation. It's like you're kissing by yourself! Try saying something and see if you hear an echo! The Dirty Harry. Guys, either grow a beard or shave. That 5 o'clock shadow thing looks cute, but it can wreck havoc on a woman's tender body. Whisker burn just plain hurts. You don't know what it feels like to have sand papery stubble pierce the skin around your eyes or cheeks! With half her face scraped off, a woman feels less than romantic and is more inclined to get up to seek medical treatment than she is to get busy. Trolling for Tonsils. Everybody likes tongue kissing, but my goodness! A little restraint on the depth of the kiss might be in order. If you have a tendency to extend your tongue to its full length in your partners mouth, be sure to check for a pulse when you get through. The Kiss of Death. You would swear that there is a body buried around here somewhere, because the smell of decomposition is mighty strong! Brush those teefis! Use one of the vast selections of mouthwashes on the market. Hey, they even come in various colors, so it's possible to find one that coordinates with your bathroom décor! Get a new toothbrush every 3 months! Visit your dentist and check for gum disease and cavities, both of which contribute to bad breath. Eat more fruits, vegetables, and drink more water to keep your insides clean too. 13 Most Popular Kissing Techniques Kissing can be a wonderful prelude to more intimate pleasures, or a joy unto itself. But only if you know what you are doing! Here are 13 most popular kissing techniques I know so far. 1.Angel Kiss This is a sweet, comforting kiss. You could practice this by gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eyelid or right next to the eyes. Most effective for girls of all ages! 2.Cheek Kiss A friendly kiss. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek. 3.Butterfly Kiss With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. 4.Freeze Kiss Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open your mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual French kiss with a twist of cold. 5.Eskimo Kiss With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together. Really funny! 6.Earlobe Kiss Gently sip and suck the earlobe. 7.French Kiss The famous French kiss involves the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. 8.Forehead Kiss The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head. 9.Foot Kiss An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. 10.Hand Kiss Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady. 11.Letter Kiss Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as xxxx. 12.Mistletoe Kiss Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover. 13.Neck Kiss Come up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly lick the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times. 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Dating Secrets Revealed Posted: 10 Sep 2009 03:43 AM PDT Dating Secrets Revealed by H.Bangambiki http://www.laughingtonpost.com 21 Ways to Say I Love You 1. Call her the next day. 2. Always laugh at her jokes. 3. Tell her (truthfully) that you can't wait to see her again. 4. Offer her a backrub, without asking for one in return. 5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her. 6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she's sick. 7. Write her a poem. 8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor). 9. Bring her flowers for no reason. 10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello. 11. Always remember your anniversaries and bring her something sweet. 12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence. 13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to look up at the stars. 14. Tell her something about you that no one else knows. 15. Remind her that you still think she's beautiful. 16. Take a bubble bath together. 17. Watch a sappy movie with her. 18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner. 19. Never stop trying to impress her. 20. Tell her you love her. 21. Never forget how much she means to you. 25 Things Guys Like About Girls WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls 1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo 2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder 3. How cute they look when they sleep 4. the ease in which they fit into our arms 5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world 6. How cute they are when they eat 7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while 8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side 9. the way they look good no matter what they wear 10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth 11. How cute they are when they argue 12. the way her hand always finds yours 13. the way they smile 14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight 15. the way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later.... 16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them 17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you' 18. actually... just the way they kiss you... 19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry 20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly 21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt 22. then the way apologize when it does hurt ..(even though we don't admit it!) 23. the way they say "I miss you" 24. the way you miss them 25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt. 27 Ways to Make a Girl Smile 1. Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . Always tell her you love her every second of the day. 6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. 9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 10 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 11 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 12 . Play with her hair. 13 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her. 17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 18. Carve your names into a tree. 19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 20 . Give her piggyback rides. 21 . Bring her flowers 22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 23 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants. 25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing. 26 . Kiss her in the rain. 27 . If your in love with her . . . tell her. 35 Reasons Why Girls Like Guys Well here are a few reasons that girls like guys 1. The way they always wear their favorite cologne (which happens to be the one that you bought them for their birthday) 2. The way the run their hands through your hair 3. The way that they look at you and you want to die right then and there 4. The way that they casually put their arms around you 5. The way that they kiss away your tears 6. ...and the way that they then get mad at how they can't make your problem go away 7. The way they show off around their friends, even though you both know that you would love them even if they missed a basket or two 8. How there eyes light up at the result of 3 hours of preparing for your date 9. How they always know just what to say to make you blush 10. How they sometimes think that they know just what to say to make you feel better, even if you think that it is the worst thing that they could say 11. The way they hold you close when you are cold 12. How they look at you when your mad at them and all your anger melts away 13. How they always smile when you are together 14. The way that they always let you win any game that you play together 15. ... and then when you point that out to them they pretend to not know what you are talking about 16. The way that they smile at you 17. The way that you feel when they call to apologize after you had a big fight 18. The way that they say I love you 19. The way that they say I love you in front of their friends 20. The way that they touch and hold you so gently, like they are afraid that they will break you 21. The way that they kiss you 22. The way that they open their arms to you when you are crying 23. The way that they never admit that you hurt them 24. The way that they try not to cry when they are afraid that they are losing you 25. The way that they think that they are your big protector, even though you think that you are theirs. 26. The way that they say I miss you, even though they hate to admit it 27. The way that you miss everything about them when they are gone 28. The way that they remember your special moments, or aniversaries when you think that they forgot 29. The way that they apologize when they do forget 30. The way that they comfort you when you have a bad day 31. The way that you can't wait to get home and tell them all about your day 32. The way that they write you love letters even if they think that it is uncool 33. How they would rather be with you then their friends sometime 34. How you want to hug them even though they are all sweaty 35. Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without a trace of sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley comsumed within the rhythimic beatings of his heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing a feeling, that is only felt. 40 Things Girls Should Know About Guys 2. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 3. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. 4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. 5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again! 6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 7. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. 8. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 9. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. 10. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. 11. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 12. Shopping is not a sport. 13. Anything you wear is fine. Really. 14. You have enough clothes. 15. You have too many shoes. 16. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. 17. Your brother is an idiot, you ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too. 18. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. 19. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. 20. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. 21. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes -- What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 22. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. 23. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 24. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend. 25. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 26. Check you oil. 27. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. 28. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 29. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. 30. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 32. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. 33. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? 34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both. 35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. 37. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do. 39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazine. 40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. AND FINALLY, THE NUMBER ONE RULE: 1. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 55 Ways to get Rid of your Blind Date 1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice. 4. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5. Repeat every third third word you say say. 6. Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook. 7. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date. 8. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly. 9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about. 10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds. 11. Order a bucket of lard. 12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths. 13. Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female. 14. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets. 15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves. 16. Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme. 17. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food. 18. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do. 19. Drool. 20. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs. 21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you. 22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?" 23. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you. 24. Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates. 25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up. 26. Ask your date how much money they have with them. 27. Order for your date. Order something nasty. 28. Communicate in mime the entire evening. 29. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous. 30. Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs. 31. Hum. Loudly. In monotone. 32. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements... i.e anything on the table that isn't bolted down. 33. Hold a debate. Take both sides. 34. Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn. 35. Auction your date off for silverware. 36. Slide under the table. Take your plate with you. 37. Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal. 38. Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments. 39. Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around. 40. Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience. 41. Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense). 42. Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out. 43. If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite. 44. Bring 20 or so candles you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant. 45. Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her. 46. Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt. 47. Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills. 48. Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it. 49. Accuse your date of espionage. 50. Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults. 51. Don't use any verbs during the entire meal. 52. Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill. 53. Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow. 54. Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you've brought along. 55. Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill. Dating Ideas Give the gift of time (wristwatch) with this inscription: "I'll always have time for you." Find a four-leaf clover and present it together with this note: "I got lucky when I found you." Send him/her a romantic card. Mail a lock of your hair to your lover. Ask him to pick a number between 1 and 50, then reward him with that number of kisses. Attach a note on the TV remote: "Turn me on instead!" Before getting out of bed, face your partner, give him/her a kiss and say: "I'm so thankful I have you in my life." Place a heart-shaped sticker on your wristwatch to remind you to call. Hide a pair of earrings in a box of chocolates. Celebrate the anniversary of when you first met. Shower together by candlelight. Warm her bath towel in the dryer for her. Tell your mate that you - love, adore, admire, cherish, desire, want, need, prize, esteem, idolize, revere, treasure him/her. Replace the lightbulbs in your bedroom with candles. Buy her an outfit while she's trying it on; let her wear it out of the store. Slip a little love note into his wallet, in between the dollar bills. Be waiting for him in the bathtub when he returns from work. Shower together: it's sexy and you'll save water :-) Give him a lottery ticket. Attch a note: "You are one in a million" While slow dancing at a party, whisper something sweet to her. When attending a wedding, whisper: "If I had to do it over, I'd marry you again." Send a love note via Fedex - because your love just can't wait. Make a 20-foot HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner for your sweetheart. Take an old bottle of unused medicine capsules. Empty the medicine and insert tiny teeny love notes. Write him a Prescription for Love. Leave a romantic message on the answering machine. Put a note in a romance novel saying, "The story is great but our own love story is the best". Compose a list: "101 Reasons Why I Love You" Write each reason on a separate square of paper. Wrap them in a fancy gift box. Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb. When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room. Difference Between Love and Infatuation Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love? There is a big difference between Love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction. Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for. INFATUATION Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love. Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person. Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person. Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love. LOVE Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait Is it Love 1. Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing? and your voice caught within your chest? it isn't love, it's like. 2. You can't keep your hand off them, am I right? it isn't love, it's lust 3. Are you proud and eager to show them off? it isn't love, it's luck 4. Do you want them because you know they're there? it isn't love, it's loneliness 5. Are you there because it's what everyone wants? it isn't love, its loyalty 6. Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them? it isn't love, its pity 7. Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? it isn't love, it's lack of confidence 8. Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? it isn't love, it's infatuation 9. Do you tell them that everyday they are the one you think of? it isn't love, it's a lie 10. Are you willing to give up all your favorite things for their sake? it isn't love, it's charity 11. Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? it isn't love, it's friendship 12. Do you accept their faults because it's part of who they are? then it's love 13. Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong? then it's love 14. Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply, it hurts? then it's love 15. Do you stay because a blinding incomprehensible mix of pain, and elations pulls you close and hold you? then it's love 16. Are you attracted to others but stay with them faithfully with no regrets? then it's love 17. Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? then it's love 18. And always remember - love isn't one sided!! - Both must love for LOVE to exist! Love Questions There was this guy who loved two gals at the same time but he didn't know which one he loved more. Someone taught him. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly : "When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love. Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly : "When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden with?" The one you think of is also someone you love. If you think of the same gal when you are happy & sad, that's the most perfect. But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose the one you are willing to share your sadness with. In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people that u meet that u can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. In sadness, however, there are not many people willing to share your burden with you. If you are willing to tell someone your happiness, I am sure that person has got to be someone close & an understanding person to you. But it shouldn't stop there. If that person only thinks of you when she is happy, but looks for someone else when she is sad, this lover is too unstable, she doesn't treat you as someone she can spend the rest of her life with. Of course, I will be very happy if I am the first person to share her happiness. But, if she is sad, I will be too willing to stay by her side & ease her pain. Only then, will I believe that I hold a very important position in her heart. If you are sad, who comes to your mind first? Love Lesson If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away. Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. Real Love 4 person in your life how many have u found? 1st-urself, 2nd-1 u love most, 3rd-1 who love u most, 4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with. firstly u'll meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who loves u most. When u've experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, u'll then know what it is u need most. Then u will find the person who is most suitable for u, to be able to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly,in real life,these 3 people are usually not the same person. The one u love most doesn't love you. The one,who love u most,is never the one u love most. And the one u spend your life with,is never the one u love most or the one who love u most. He/she is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time. Which person are u in other people's life? No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time when he loves u, he/she really loves u. But when he/she doesn't love u anymore, he/she really doesn't love u anymore. When he/she loves u, he/she can't pretend that he/she doesn't. same goes, when he/she loves u no more, there's no way he/she can pretend he/she loves u. When a person doesn't love u and wants to leave u. u must ask yourself if u still love him/her, If u also don't love him/her anymore, do not keep him/her just to save your pride. If you still love him/her, you should wish him/her happiness, and hope that he/she will be with the one he/she loves most, not stop him/her from it. If you stop him/her from finding true happiness with the one he/she loves, it shows u already don't love him/her, And if you don't love him/her, what rights do you have to blame him/her for a change of heart? Love is not possessive, if you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin, But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him/her become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him/her for what he/she is. Love him/her for his/her good points, and the bad, You can't wish for him/her to become like what you like him/her to be just because you love him/her. If he/she can't change to become what you like him/her to be, you don't love him/her anymore. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him/her, You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test, If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate. When two people are in love, They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover. These swear and promises are useless; Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for u will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry, Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then? Be careful when making promises; don't make promises that you cannot keep. Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Rmember? Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!? In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another; The 1 saying, doesn't believe; the 1 listening, also doesn't believe. Meaning of Roses 1 Rose Exceptional love all concentrated on you.ok0 2 Roses Two of us deeply in love. 3 Roses I love you. 6 Roses I want to be yours. 9 Roses Love each other eternally. 11 Roses You are the one I love most in my life. 12 Roses Satisfactory union and mutual affinity. 13 Roses Secret admirer. 24 Roses Remember fondly every moment (24 hours cannot forget you). 33 Roses Saying "I love you" with PROFOUND LOVE. 36 Roses Feeling romantic attachment because you come to me. 44 Roses Constant unchangeable pledge. 50 Roses This is "Regretless Love". 56 Roses My love. 66 Roses Successful love affair. 99 Roses Love with understanding makes love eternal. 100 Roses Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple 'till ripe-old age. 101 Roses No other love but you. 108 Roses Please marry me! 111 Roses Eternal love. 123 Roses Free love. 144 Roses Loving you day and night eternally. 365 Roses Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday. 999 Roses Everlasting and eternal love. 1001 Roses Faithful love, 'till forever Flowers Meaning Amaryllis Lily pride and beauty Azalea temperance Bachelor's Buttons celibacy Begonia beware Camellias Red: unpretentious excellence White: exquisite loveliness Carnations: Red: my poor heart Pink: I'll never forget you. Yellow: disdain White: sweet and lovely Chrysanthemum: Red: I love White: truth Yellow: slighted love Crocus abuse not Spring: youthful gladness Cyclamen diffidence Daffodils regard Dahlia changeable Daisy innocence Forget-me-not constant love French Marigold jealousy, discontent Gladiolus I'm really sincere Hibiscus rare beauty Hyacinth sporting White: discreet loveliness Hydrangea Thank you for understanding Iris communication; faith; hope Lilac Purple: first love White: youthful innocence Lily of the Valley increased happiness Lily White: purity Mistletoe kiss me Narcissus ego Nasturtium loyalty Orchid love; beauty; refinement Pansies consideration Peony bashfulness Ranunculus radiant charm Rhodadendron danger Roses Red: love Yellow: friendship Pink: young love, romance, first love White: pure, innocence Snapdragon presumption Sweet William bravery Tiger Flower befriend me friend Men vs Women Women Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. We need = I want It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want. = You'll pay for this later! We need to talk. = I need to complain. Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about? This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house. I want new curtains. = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... Hang the picture there. = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise. = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = {Too late, you're dead} Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep? I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. Men I'm hungry. = I'm hungry. I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy. I'm tired. = I'm tired. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you. Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you. May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex w/you. Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you. What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex? I love you. = Let's have sex now. I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before. Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50.00 and it doesn't look that much different! Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person so that you'd like to have sex with me. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. (while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freaking dress and let's go home How Women Think FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine" GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine" GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow." GO AHEAD At some point in the near future! re, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay" THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. THANKS A LOT This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing" Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh! Romance Ideas Take photos whenever both of you go out. Then use the photos to paste all around the house to remind you of the happy memories. Send a dozen roses: 11 red roses and 1 white one. The note: "In every bunch there's one who stands out - and you are that one." Float a love note in a bottle in the bathtub. Write him/her a check for one million kisses Get tulips and attach this note: "I've got two-lips waiting for you!" Something for the anniversary.... a lottery ticket and a note: "I hit the jackpot when I married you." Bring flowers home for no reason (well, the reason is love) Bring home one flower a day for one solid month. Collect romantic and inspirational quotes. Write them in a journal and give it to your partner as a gift. Trace "I love you" on a stick of butter or margarine. Have pillows embroidered with your names, and get monogramed pillow covers. You can also get some heart-shaped pillows. Put a new piece of jewelry in her jewelry box and wait for her to notice it. Use a thesaurus to help you describe your lover: beautiful, angelic, divine, sublime, alluring, bewitching, stunning, gorgeous, exquisite, marvelous, magnificent, charming, enticing, fabulous... Leave a trail of your clothes from the front door to the bedroom. Scatter rose petals all over the bed. Cover the room with helium balloons. Write notes on Post-it notes and stick them around the house. Call her at work and ask: "Is this the office of the most beautiful woman in the world?" Hide a love note in his pants pocket. Other places to hide a small note: * under the pillow * under a dinner plate * in the refrigerator * in her jewelry box * in his shaving kit * between the pages he/she is reading * in the take-out box * in the medicine cabinet Buy a bunch of fish at a pet store. It doesn't matter what kind. Leave it for your lover with a note saying " Out of all the fish in the sea, you are the one for me". Pull the bag out of your lovers breakfast cereal box and slit a small hole in it. Insert a love note. Tape up the bag and return it to the box. What a way to start the day! Build your lover a web page telling them why you love them so much. Mention special moments and add some images and cool links to topics that interest them. Surf the web with them one day and just "stumble upon it". Or have someone send them an anonymous email with the link inviting them to the page. Fill bathtub with warm water sprinkled with rose petals. Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence. Give your love an antique compass and say "You will never lose me". Your love will swear the needle always points to their heart! Time will Tell Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, and all the others, including love. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere." Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is." Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean) 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.") 9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad.) 8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.) 6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.) 5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.) 4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.) 1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's the male perspective thing.) In response...The male perspective on the same issue... Top 10 rejection lines given by Men (and what they actually mean...) 10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.) 9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.) 8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.) 6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.) 5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.) 4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.) 2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.) 1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.) Dating Advice for Men Lesson 1 Appearance - Clothes and shoes A women appreciates a man who looks good or at least tries to. Women take great care and effort of what they wear for different occasions and also take note of guys who do the same. Clothes is THE difference between dashing and ordinary. In addition, women do take note of shoes. It explains why they have a whole shoe rack full of shoes. Therefore, choose your shoes wisely too. Although different women have different taste in choice of clothes for men, it is generally acceptable to look neat and tidy. Here are some ways to achieve it. 1. Dressed Suitably Formal wear are for formal occasions such as dinner in restaurants. T-shirts and jeans are for simple date at the mall. Shorts and singlets are for jogging in your nearby park and so on. You get the picture. 2. Iron your clothes Its not a very good image to portray if your clothes are crumpled and you go out on a date. A woman will think that you are lazy and do not place any importance on the date. 3. Do NOT wear clothes with vulgarities, sexually suggestive images or words We know that these clothes might be your favorite as it is very cheeky or portrays your style that you do not give a damn what's happening around. However, its a definite no no for dates as its rude, insensitive and too explicit for any potential girlfriends/wives to take it. 4. Go for well known , respected brands We do not want you to show off. However, it is always nice to wear something that lets you get noticed by your date. If branded stuff is not your thing, at least get a simple respected brand that do not portray you as a cheapskate. 5. Ask another women for opinion Lets face it. Man are pretty hopeless at fashion. That's why we hate shopping.(The clothes look the same anyway) To understand what is appropriate, what is nice on you, it is always good to get a female's opinion. After all, your date is another female and it is your date that is going to judge you on your date. Dating Advice for Men Lesson2 Appearance - General Not every man is born tall dark and handsome. In fact most are not. However, by looking presentable, every man can still capture the attention of their date. Here are some tips to look nice and presentable. 1. Shave before going out No women will like the look of a rough beard or moustache sticking out from your face. Although there are the odd few who finds it sexy, chances are its better to look clean shaven and tidy. It gives a better positive image of a person who cares about the date and who takes care of oneself. 2. Bathe often It not our fault that men have larger sweat glands neither is it our fault that men enjoy sports that makes us soak in sweat. However, it could be our fault if we do not shower frequently. Every woman likes his man to smell nice and look clean. So if you're the type that sweat easily, be prepared to shower more, especially before meeting your date. 3. Get your cologne, aftershave out Cologne and aftershaves are not for Gays. In fact, women find men who smell nice masculine. Just like bathing often, its also important to smell nice. After all, you do not want to spoil your first kiss with your date just because you smell awful. 4. Smile often A smile helps to lessen the tension, projects a lively and positive image and best of all, a person always looks the best when you're smiling. We should always be smiling as we never know who is in love with your smile. Therefore practice smiling now if you are going out on a date soon! 5. Do not slouch Slouching gives a bad impression of a person that is not confident, weak and no sense of security. Therefore, do what your mum always tell you. Stand straight and be proud of your height. Dating Advice for Men Lesson 3 Confidence and Success A confident man is a good looking man. Brad pitt can wear a skirt and yet look macho. However, confidence stems from success. Success in doing whatever you do impresses girls. Woman love a man who knows what they want and what they have done. The more difficult it is to achieve the success, the more impressed the girl. Here are some tips to show your confidence and success. 1. Know your goals Women loves a man with direction. It gives them a sense of security. Even if you do not have much success in your goals, knowing your goals and letting her know that is the sign of a man who is clear and far sighted. Therefore, if you do not have goals up till now, its time to start thinking. 2. Be yourself Everybody should be proud of themselves. It says a lot about your confidence. If you're a goofy character, just be one in front of her instead of trying to be somebody else. A women will love you for what your are and not what you try to be. 3. Take Risks, Break rules Everybody admires risk taker. This includes women. A risk taker is seen as brave and charming as they are doing stuff ordinary people dare not do. This includes breaking conventional rules. It explains why bad boys often attract the best lookers out there. 4. Be knowledgeable A knowledgeable man is seen as a confident man. A man who speaks wisdom with his every word is deem more successful then a man who craps a lot. So start ordering your newspapers and newsweek magazines now if you have not done so. Dating Advice for Men Lesson 4 Behavior There's a proper way to behave in front of ladies. It is never nice to let women see the rough side of you especially on your first date. Behavior shows your character and whether your relationship can carry on. It is a further step forward after first impressions. 1. Do be chivalrous Its the 21st century. No doubt that men and women have equal rights. However, there's nothing wrong to continue showing chivalry to women. Opening doors, helping to carry shopping bags, sending her home are all basic courtesy that is on the decline. However, women still loved to be pampered and there's nothing wrong with that. Stick with the ancient code of being a gentleman and you'll never be wrong. 2. Do treat women with respect Do not ever make sexist or insensitive comments about women. Do not swear and curse when at the waiters just because they give bad service. Listen when your date talks and talk when she stops talking. Treat her properly and chances are you'll leave a lasting impression. 3. Do maintain eye contact Eye contact is very important to show that you're interested in whatever she's talking. Its extremely disgusting if your date is talking and you are distracted by the chick that just walked by. However, its also important not to stare at her especially if you've just met her as it gives the impression that you are a pervert that is following her every action. 4. Don't get drunk in front of her Being able to hold your liquor well equates to being strong in front of your mates. However, it is directly the opposite with women. Women hate drunkards as they are rowdy, noisy and totally obnoxious. They are a complete turnoff. Therefore, if possible, drink less if you're out on a date. Best of all, don't drink. 5. Don't get touchy too quickly When you touch a woman, it breaks down their self defense and they will only allow this when they feel totally at ease and attracted to you. Therefore, unless she touches you or you feel totally at ease with her and that she's attracted to you. Do not touch her too quickly as she might think you only want sex Dating Advice for Men Lesson 5 Conversation - what to say and take note Its always important to say the right things and things that will impress. Its also tremendously important not to say stupid things which may offend your date. You also do not want to bore your date by talking about things she totally cannot relate to. These are some things that you can mention or should take note while striking a conversation. 1. Be open minded Do not show extremism towards subjects that your date talks about. It might just be something that she cares a lot about. Do not make any crude remarks on anything she says for the same reason. You do not want to leave a bad impression so fast. 2. Talk about common topics Its a very common tip but its one of the most difficult to master. Man will naturally like to talk about themselves and their interests. However, there's no harm in talking about something in which your date has a huge passion for and you find it boring. There is also no harm talking about hot topics that she might be interested in. If you really are clueless about what to talk to her about, do some research beforehand on what to say. Her friends and appearance are good resources to start from. 3. Compliment and talk about her dressing As mentioned in Lesson #1, women take great care of their dressing and man should therefore take notice of what women wear and compliment them. However, compliment her casually as you do not want her to think that you're totally captivated by her. You can follow up on her dressing by asking where she bought it and how much it cost. It helps her to feel important. 4. Joke The sure way to succeed is always humor as women relates witty guys to not boring. No women likes boring guys no matter how good the impression he makes. Jokes can liven the atmosphere and creates a good impression for you. 5. Don't talk about sports, politics or other male gender dominated topics unless she is interested in them too Men love their sports. Sports competitiveness brings out the excitement and happiness of men. However, most women know nuts about sports. Its no use telling your date about Michael Jordon's glorious history when she is more interested in the cute boyish basketballer on the court. Therefore, unless you want to talk about how cute that basketballer is, steer clear of sports. The same rule applies for other male gender dominated topics. 6. Lastly, Listen Its no coincidence that women talks much more then men per day. Women love to talk and let their opinions be known. Therefore, its important to listen and appreciate what she says instead of talking all the time. It makes your date feels important. Dating Advice for Women Appearance 1. Dress Comfortably Sure. ALl Men like to see women that are dressed in nice clothes showing some skin. However, that is the reason why women should not reaveal to much skin. Men are selfish. They like to see other women dress in various stages of undress and are genuinely embarrassed when their date is in too little clothes. Moreover, Man do not like to see women keep on tugging at their clothes to make sure they do not reveal too much. Elegant and comfortable wear is always a good gauge. By being comfortable with what you wear, you can also enjoy the night in peace rather then being worried in your dressing. 2. Dress appropriately Some of us like to look the best whenever we're outside. Obviously, it is nautral that all women are vain by nature and men will be attracted by women who look good. Despite that, the plan can backfire when u try to do sports in long skirts, or attend a function in short skirts. Its always important to dress for the occasion and more important so when you're on a date. 3. Appropriate make up Its important to put on some make up before going out on a date. However, you dont want to look ghastly in front of your date by applying too much make up or applying the wrong make up. Apply adequate make up for the occasion and you ll look fabulous. If you're one who absolutely hates make up and know nuts abt applying make up, just a simple lipstick will do. 4. Smell good Men are attracted by their primitive senses. That includes the sense of smell. By smelling good, it helps to give a good impression especially on the first date. By creating an idendity using the smell you always used, your date can also remember you more distinctively. In addition, although women do not sweat as much as men and generally do not stink, it is also always hygienic to shower often. After all, your date would not want to kiss someone who haven't shower for days. 5. Stay in shape For a long time, women are convinced men are after nothing but sex. Actually its the truth. A man loves a woman as much as he loves her body. A toned lean body is a definite turn on for men compared to one who isnt. Most women might not be born with great bodies. But by hitting the gy by H.Bangambiki http://www.laughingtonpost.com -- www.igituba.org - kuko isoni zirisha uburozi www.althotgirls.com-World Hottest Girls www.laughingtonpost.com-World's Best Humor www.myvagina.org-All About Female Sexuality www.thefreecashreport.blogspot.com-Make Money

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